Half-a-logue!

I don’t know how, unwittingly, our nose, just like a GPS navigator, traces its way to anything tasty lying anywhere in the universe. Even the eyes manage to look out for some greener pastures here n there :).

Wonder what the ears do? They get bothered in the Delhi metro. Yes! They do. By so hard to avoid half-a-logue! No, I don’t have a special knack for getting into troubles, but I feel like giving a good spanking to all those talking loudly on phones, that too when they are taking public mode of commutation.

This evidently says that I take metro to reach my office and to come back as well!
Now, I know the right way is the conservative way, but emotions tend to overspill, no hard feelings! :(

I somehow, inadvertently, get involved in the other person’s tittle-tattles to the extent that I almost start considering myself a part of d conversation, failing to guess what the other person must have said.

Consider this, a really fat lady, occupying the certified-space-for-four alone, was talking so loudly on phone that I could not refrain myself from hearing what she has to say. The best part was that the attitude that she was carrying would surely amount to inter-multiplication of her vital stats.

Although I believe that people with attitude deserve the standing ovation of our highest finger, but anyhow, this blog was not meant to lent out my affection for over-sized aunts. Read on to see why I couldn’t help my ears elongate to almost enter her Ohh-so-girly mobile phone:

Aunt: Hain? unki beti kal kaha chali gayi thi…?
The other person on line [How would I know? :)]
Aunt: Accha accha!
The other person on line [The crap I should not care about, but I do :)]
Aunt: Kya?
The other person on line [Something cheesy I wish I could hear :(]
Aunt: On no! Ye to galat hai! Tujhe kya zarurt thi bolne ki!
The other person on line (May be too pissed off to continue any more :))
Aunt: Arre baap re! Main aaj hi aati hu!

Over-and-Out!

Having continuously been poked by her blustering voice, my mind was busy guessing, who on earth was she talking about, what might have happened, where she is going to go today etc. Thus, I spend my rest of the day thinking what might have happened.

This half-a-logue has plainly become a disease. The other day, I heard another Oh-I-am-so-cool guy, again in metro, whose half-a-logue went like this:

Snooty guy: Hey dude… ssup?
Snooty guy (again): No, I am not.
Snooty guy (Whrz-ur-mute-button?): No, am skippin dah! Wot bout ya?
Snooty guy (Shutt-uuppp): Oh-ok! What happened last night?
Snooty guy (Oh-ya!): Oh Jeez! You mz b kiddin!
Snooty guy (Oh-kay): Holy Cow! Don’t expect me to come dude!
Snooty guy (whaaatt? Tell me as well): You handle the situation! Best of luck.Take care!

It all happened step-by-step. His loud dressing style took my attention into his custody, his artificial accent dragged it to the court, his weird tone sentenced me to death and this bloody half-a-logue finally hung me to death!

But one thing is for sure, this half-a-logue has turned me into a music-addict. Though was of music, I was never so fond of plugging earphones in my ears, listening to music while travelling, but such are the life’s drearies.

This is an uncalled-for upshot, which has been adopted simply because neither I care where does this aunt’s whomsoever’s whosoever went yesterday, nor I care where did that dud’s whosoever jerky friend did last night! So, here I am!

These days, whenever my dad asks why I have choked up my ears with earplugs, I ask him to welcome another comfortably numb music freak! :)

I Bet Your Life Isn't That Safe!

Like they say... every step leaves behind a memory and every trip leaves behind plethora of anecdotes, waiting to be opened and spread.

Similar was my condition when I recently went to a very famous Hindu shrine, Vaishno Devi in Jammu. While on our way back to the railway station, we had a very interesting encounter with this driver who was driving our cab, and who seemed to be bumming with enlightening knowledge that the routine had imparted to him.

It happens many-a-times that we know something better, not because we have been reading or studying about it, but because we have been breathing with it since ages. Similar was the condition of this very fair person who had many things to tell us, the city people, who he thought must be only surviving on the daily dose of newspaper nuggets!

Initially, his gyaan seemed to be mere blabbing, until he suddenly switched to an intense topic, terrorism, the moment we crossed a divergence, in which the other way lead to Srinagar. There he went ahead, with altogether refueled blood in his veins and boundless excitement in his mind. That surely shooed away my travel fatigue as well.

This person said that watching terrorists was quite a norm there. Acknowledging his own courage and giving us a reason to raise our eyebrows, he said that he had seen a terrorist few days back, an unbathed, real shoddy, dingy in all senses man, dressed in green and carrying a machine gun on his shoulder. Absolutely ignorant to worldly pleasures and mighty demands, this person seemed to be very energetic, though looked just waked, having gathered information from his body language.

Indeed, that raised my goosebumps, not because the story sounded way too amazing to be able to excite any zombie, but because of the fear of catching one on our way back. Anyway, we reached safely and so ended our pilgrimage, but engraved in my mind is that driver, his encounter, and his very weird habit of a storyteller, which made me enter his mind and talk to his experiences… I still tremble… Oh my God! He has seen a terrorist!