Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Half-a-logue!


I don’t know how, unwittingly, our nose, just like a GPS navigator, traces its way to anything tasty lying anywhere in the universe. Even the eyes manage to look out for some greener pastures here n there :).

Wonder what the ears do? They get bothered in the Delhi metro. Yes! They do. By so hard to avoid half-a-logue! No, I don’t have a special knack for getting into troubles, but I feel like giving a good spanking to all those talking loudly on phones, that too when they are taking public mode of commutation.

This evidently says that I take metro to reach my office and to come back as well!
Now, I know the right way is the conservative way, but emotions tend to overspill, no hard feelings! :(

I somehow, inadvertently, get involved in the other person’s tittle-tattles to the extent that I almost start considering myself a part of d conversation, failing to guess what the other person must have said.

Consider this, a really fat lady, occupying the certified-space-for-four alone, was talking so loudly on phone that I could not refrain myself from hearing what she has to say. The best part was that the attitude that she was carrying would surely amount to inter-multiplication of her vital stats.

Although I believe that people with attitude deserve the standing ovation of our highest finger, but anyhow, this blog was not meant to lent out my affection for over-sized aunts. Read on to see why I couldn’t help my ears elongate to almost enter her Ohh-so-girly mobile phone:

Aunt: Hain? unki beti kal kaha chali gayi thi…?
The other person on line [How would I know? :)]
Aunt: Accha accha!
The other person on line [The crap I should not care about, but I do :)]
Aunt: Kya?
The other person on line [Something cheesy I wish I could hear :(]
Aunt: On no! Ye to galat hai! Tujhe kya zarurt thi bolne ki!
The other person on line (May be too pissed off to continue any more :))
Aunt: Arre baap re! Main aaj hi aati hu!

Over-and-Out!

Having continuously been poked by her blustering voice, my mind was busy guessing, who on earth was she talking about, what might have happened, where she is going to go today etc. Thus, I spend my rest of the day thinking what might have happened.

This half-a-logue has plainly become a disease. The other day, I heard another Oh-I-am-so-cool guy, again in metro, whose half-a-logue went like this:

Snooty guy: Hey dude… ssup?
Snooty guy (again): No, I am not.
Snooty guy (Whrz-ur-mute-button?): No, am skippin dah! Wot bout ya?
Snooty guy (Shutt-uuppp): Oh-ok! What happened last night?
Snooty guy (Oh-ya!): Oh Jeez! You mz b kiddin!
Snooty guy (Oh-kay): Holy Cow! Don’t expect me to come dude!
Snooty guy (whaaatt? Tell me as well): You handle the situation! Best of luck.Take care!

It all happened step-by-step. His loud dressing style took my attention into his custody, his artificial accent dragged it to the court, his weird tone sentenced me to death and this bloody half-a-logue finally hung me to death!

But one thing is for sure, this half-a-logue has turned me into a music-addict. Though was of music, I was never so fond of plugging earphones in my ears, listening to music while travelling, but such are the life’s drearies.

This is an uncalled-for upshot, which has been adopted simply because neither I care where does this aunt’s whomsoever’s whosoever went yesterday, nor I care where did that dud’s whosoever jerky friend did last night! So, here I am!

These days, whenever my dad asks why I have choked up my ears with earplugs, I ask him to welcome another comfortably numb music freak! :)

8 comments:

:-) said...

a pair of head phones can be such a life Saviour at times....n next time if anyone asks you about them...you can give them a standing ovation of your index finger with the legendary...
Ayyyyyyyyyy..... Headphones pe nahi janaaaaaaa...!!!

Searching my soul said...

I like music...and would love if you turn into a music buff :) CC, loved the blog and I would love it if you left the earphones at home and paid more attention to the stuff going on in metro - we can train you ; RAW would be interested in you ; CBI could be a possibility and FBI might come to you begging, with the appointment letter.

WoW.....loved your imagination and assumption as to what was being said on the other side and also the narrative :)

One complaint - why can't you hear more or at least could have given us more of the cell-talk.

Cheena Chopra said...

:) vada.... i m a die-hard fan f ur sense of humor!! love u!! :)

Cheena Chopra said...

@PJ: Next time, the blog will just be full of instances!! :)
I hope this makes u happy!

surbhit said...

interesting blog, i got time to read two posts only but they were amazing.
Half-a-logue, where did u get the title from? m really bad at this thing you know.
Read my blog @
www.surbhitsaxena.com

Cheena Chopra said...

Hi Surbhit

It comes naturally, you see. It's when you face the situation and things or rather words click!
Anyway, will surely check your blog. Thanks for visiting!

God's Favourite Son said...

Ok, now here is how that works. People actually did a study on this. If you hear half a conversation then the brain by force of habit starts trying to fill in the gaps. And due to not being able to it becomes an irritable SOB, making you irritated too. If you could hear both sides, you would be able to ignore the whole conversation. Too bad we are still wired to live on a tree rather than a city eh? ;)

Cheena Chopra said...

@Rohit: Funny yet so substantial! :)

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