When They Sit Down To Talk

Get togethers, meetings and catch ups with people help sustain the feeling in mind that one is social enough and that he is interesting enough for people to waste their time on. Some people bank more on their relatives than on their friends, while some find their relatives ‘monsterifiying’ their lives and thus, find solace in the company of their friends. No matter who you confide in, the heart of the matter is that we all need someone close to vent out the flux which boils in our mind over the time and also, to console ourselves with the fact that we have someone worthy enough to be called at home or caught up with on holidays.

Growing up has brought along numerous kinds of experiences, some good, some bad, a few irrelevant and others useful. It has been hard to live as a kid, when you are too foolish to understand the whys and the hows and as a teenager, when everything you say looks exactly like the kind of food you eat – junk – until you hop on from teen bracket to a more mature age, 20’s, by when you already have turned immune to most of the things that happen at home and have figured out one answer to all the questions – YES.

So, you sit as a mere spectator in the family gatherings and speak only when asked to, resembling a monkey who acts when his master, the juggler, gives him a spanking. Thus, the experience I share today is one such, gained having braved all these family gatherings for ages. Whenever the seniors would sit down to chit-chat, one topic would always crop up, no matter what the context or the source be, the crux would mostly boil down to the same old regret stories. The previous generation or the one even senior has many things to regret in their lives, why or how they could not choose a better career, a better place to live in, better options in terms of the kind of person they are, a better bank balance or sometimes worse, a better spouse. They could talk incessantly on how time had not favored them in the past or why circumstances could not turn any better so to have them emerge as winners.
                  

I loathe all these stories I’ve heard till date, because none of them sounds strong or convincing enough to have screwed their lives to the extent they could not think of any alternative similar or better. I wonder what gives way to these regret stories? If they are the ones who were given the power to think for themselves and decide, there should be no reason whatsoever to regret now. They should, in fact, be happy for the decisions they have made despite the bitter circumstances.

Anyway, since I am a mute spectator who keeps waiting when she’ll be asked to speak (which is seldom, considering how merrily elders forget our presence when they are with their folks), I keep jotting down excellent stuff like this for my blog - elders and their, sometimes funny, regret stories. Here is one coming from an aunty to quote,

Mere do bachhe na hote to main Mallika se kam nahi thi.

Oh, I guess you must have been clearly confused on what the aftereffects of a happy marriage are. :)
                   

Diwali and the meanings it hold

Diwali, as we know it, is the most celebrated festival in India. As they say, the reasons fade away, the essence carries itself on. Today, no one really relates to what Lords Ram and Sita did back in time or what special happened in history that the whole country bathes in light this day. Rather, it comes as a reason to celebrate—everyone having their own. Let’s try to sneak peek into the different worlds and the meaning Diwali holds for their inhabitants.  

Kids

Diwali is when they can act as silly as possible without fearing of having their nose broken or getting a good spanking because everyone else is too busy to notice them.

Married women

It’s that time of the year when they get to dress up their best, the time slightly lesser in importance than Karva Chauth. Apart from dressing well, a good part of their or rather their husbands’ fortune is spent in things which no one else would ever had bothered to even look at before­­ – furnishings. In short, they have to change every ‘non-living’ thing which surrounds them because IT’S Diwali.

Married men

Well, their part of the story is typically sad. An old Chinese saying makes me more empathetic with this lot, it is easier said than done being a husband of a happy wife. He would spend the money wherever instructed to, he would carry the shopping bags when his ‘madam’ would happily hop from shops to shops, he would tolerate her bargaining in a grand shopping mall, he would take care of the kids who would show zero sympathy to their dad and would continue to make a monkey of themselves at public places, he would pick her sandals, stoles, hanky, watches and every random thing madam thinks she should not wear while getting henna applied on her hands, he would treat her at a restaurant as a mandatory fee for taking her out and STILL, he would bag seeing frowning faces as an award for marrying a nag and also, for trying to put up with her (let’s not consider the consolation prizes they have ‘earned’ as a part of their initial happy marriage – the kids – who are least bothered anyway). J

The lot that earns but doesn't know where to throw that money off

Well, this one is a bit different. Since they have just stepped into the corporate world and now started hearing money clinking in bank accounts at the end of every month, they don’t think it’s is valid enough to spend a holiday at home because their parents think that way. So, we see a lot of private clubs holding card parties and DJ nights sprouting up in the town.  

Older generation

This one has the saddest story to tell. They have seen the good old times when families used to get together to celebrate and they had a better hold on decision making in the family; when Diwali was rather a religious festival and the primary aspect of it was the ‘puja’ that used to happen at night; when they were the most respected in the family and their position was no less than a PM’s in a country. Now, things have turned rather upside down for them. They think they are as good as pieces of furniture, or even worse – the furniture is still cleaned or taken care of occasionally. The oldest lot looks down on the way Diwali is celebrated now and if it’s a couple, tell each other what they miss the most. Nonetheless, Diwali brings a reason for them to flash back and relive the old Diwalis they have celebrated.

For me

I, undoubtedly, do not belong to any of the lots, for it’s a unique ME. For me, this was a time to try something new, new hairstyle, makeup and pepped-up jewelry, which I would never have done otherwise. Puja, new clothes, bursting crackers and spending quality time with family members was something I got as bonus. In short, I had the time of my life this Diwali. Here are a few pics for you to sneak peek into how my world looked that day.  

A gift I had received from previously a colleague, now a friend - a pearl set.

A fish-style braid I tried to make

That's me. 

Germs of happiness

The day marks its beginning for her when the sun rises up too high, when the world starts buzzing loud and its inhabitants begin to run hastily, resembling molecules in the liquid state, which unless freed into the gaseous mode, continue to buzz too close all the while.

Post a wide yawn and a lazy stretch of limbs, she will open up the windows, letting the duo, fresh air and sunshine, in. Sitting by the window for some time, she would thank God for granting her another day to inch closer to her dreams – the ‘always known’ bigger ones and the 'newly discovered' smaller ones. He has been way too kind to her, after all. 

Having dragged herself to the washroom while pulling up her hanging shorts, she would complete her daily chores – everything except for taking a shower! A lazy routine had brought along a habit of bathing at ease. Not giving up the darling night dress, which has incidentally become the uniform now, she begins her day at work!

If she says she has worked tad too long in one stretch, one has to understand that she has worked continuously for two hours and she, now, needs to take a nap. Post another really ‘long’ session of work, she would hit the gym and would also learn how to shake a leg on Bollywood numbers. When back home, a well-deserved, hot cup of green tea would await her, symbolizing an award for sustaining the tiring, read 'fun', work-out session. Having shown her colleagues how ‘hard(ly)’ she has worked all day, she would happily take a shower. Seeing how terribly tired and dim others appear in the evening when getting back home, this girl would, definitely, seem the freshest face in the entire time zone.

Few more mails, chatting with the once-stray-now-a-friend cat, TV, YouTube, some more work, chatting with the cat again, social networking sites, blog, a bit more work, high five to the cat, work, blog, reading, work, blog, calls, work, cat and the day ends – the end being the best part. She gets an array of the best books in the world, right next to her pillow, for no fee.

‘Working from home’ has brought along a way for discovery – of self, of interests, of loved ones, of people around, of life, generally, and of life, specifically. I must say that a profound mind and a profound life is in making, thanks to the turn life has taken *Amen*.

A great quote, which I happened to hear in a popular comedy show, would be fine to end this blog – if your present is not better than your past, you’re not living your life the way it’s supposed to be lived. *Cheers*