That Woman Who Set the Ball Rolling

© Velchitra Naathan

When god created genders, seldom he knew that human beings would make this the very foundation of various theories, ideologies and doctrines. The stronger sex, i.e., males, would exert its authority on the fairer sex, i.e., females, and would even produce biological evidences to assert that it is naturally superior. The women would rather reluctantly give in to the say of the men, for she would sadly be left with fewer choices to opt from. This burden of influence would keep weighing on them, depreciating their value in their own eyes. She would stop holding herself in high regards; forget about treating herself at par with the men in her life. Her life would, thus, confine to the four walls of the house and the chores concerned with it.

In the times that there were, it never even occurred to women that they could cross the boundaries of the house and think beyond the kitchen; that they could step out to earn and become financially independent. They had, on the contrary, become downright submissive and docile with years of subordination. Then set in the era of these trendsetters who thought they were different and capable enough to balance the house and their jobs. They not only banked on their knowledge and expertise in doing things, but also bravely championed the thought of commercializing it. This first working woman in the house really set the ball rolling for generations of financially independent women in her family.

These women, like proudly my mother, set out to give a meaning to their lives, to the education they had attained and to the fact that there was a market which would pay them for their skills. However, this did not necessarily mean they got to wash their hands off the conventional roles they had to play back home because they shouldered the responsibility of running the house with the man. The protagonist of the story would still be ‘him’ and she would have to hesitantly ride pillion. Nevertheless, it was never about an apparent show of masterful achievements for them; it was rather about effortlessness of being; about cultivated poise. These women who showed the courage to step out of their homes having, first, set that place right and, second, ironed out the kinks in their family members’ lives literally had their nerves made of steel. They instilled in all the women around them, be it their daughters, sisters or friends, a perception that there was no work ‘undoable’ by the females. Despite being the ‘biologically inferior’ sex, they did not have to play second fiddle to the males in any field, whatsoever. That confidence is what has driven us, and millions others, thus far to where we stand today. When I look back today to where it all started, the desire to be economically empowered all came from my mother, the first in her family to get to work and make a mark! 

Somewhere in the Progress, Evenings were Lost

Also published on Women's Web at: When The Evenings Are Lost On Our Road to Success!

Talk about the era of empowerment, women standing shoulder-to-shoulder with men in every sphere possible and the increasing competition in the corporate environment. The will to succeed, earn more and lead a comfortable life ‘in the future’ has left little in hand for the time called ‘now’ and the phase called ‘youth’.

Back in the 90’s, per a 90’s kid, there was a clear definition and purpose attached to each portion of the day, be it morning, afternoon or, my favorite, evening. One was supposed to get up, perform daily rituals, including praying, and report to work in the morning, work till evening and head to home by the later part of it. The latter leg of the evening was a time for pure pleasure, to be spent doing things which brought delight of the ‘company’ back home. It also marked having five-o-clock tea along with light supper and talking all sort of things, which happened by the day.

Evenings have been such an understated part of the day that the role they play in toning a day down to the ground level has always been overlooked. Thanks to the shift timings most of us have to work in today, in order to stay aligned with our Western counterparts, reaching home by evening seems like an unrealistic dream, which is leaving us with dreamless slumber to be had in the night. The night, which is meant to take the ground level of the energies to the top-most notch in order to carry the progression of the next day, is now overburdened to encompass the supper time, the talking time and the leisure time. Therefore, this poor chap does nothing and even eats up the sleep time, which is often spent idealizing the day in retrospect or just playing with the technology.

If you’d ask an ambitious male or a female if they would be willing to work till late in order to get more in terms of professional fulfillment, I bet you’d seldom hear a ‘no’. Thus begins the clichéd saga of the modern day professionals and their idea of ‘success.’ So, today, we don’t talk unless necessary, eat unless required and, of course, sleep until we are compelled to by our bodies. In all this daily grind and hunger for more, we have lost an asset, a blessing, the evenings.

Welcome to the new age of ambiguity, we do whatever whenever whatsoever.     

Germs of happiness

The day marks its beginning for her when the sun rises up too high, when the world starts buzzing loud and its inhabitants begin to run hastily, resembling molecules in the liquid state, which unless freed into the gaseous mode, continue to buzz too close all the while.

Post a wide yawn and a lazy stretch of limbs, she will open up the windows, letting the duo, fresh air and sunshine, in. Sitting by the window for some time, she would thank God for granting her another day to inch closer to her dreams – the ‘always known’ bigger ones and the 'newly discovered' smaller ones. He has been way too kind to her, after all. 

Having dragged herself to the washroom while pulling up her hanging shorts, she would complete her daily chores – everything except for taking a shower! A lazy routine had brought along a habit of bathing at ease. Not giving up the darling night dress, which has incidentally become the uniform now, she begins her day at work!

If she says she has worked tad too long in one stretch, one has to understand that she has worked continuously for two hours and she, now, needs to take a nap. Post another really ‘long’ session of work, she would hit the gym and would also learn how to shake a leg on Bollywood numbers. When back home, a well-deserved, hot cup of green tea would await her, symbolizing an award for sustaining the tiring, read 'fun', work-out session. Having shown her colleagues how ‘hard(ly)’ she has worked all day, she would happily take a shower. Seeing how terribly tired and dim others appear in the evening when getting back home, this girl would, definitely, seem the freshest face in the entire time zone.

Few more mails, chatting with the once-stray-now-a-friend cat, TV, YouTube, some more work, chatting with the cat again, social networking sites, blog, a bit more work, high five to the cat, work, blog, reading, work, blog, calls, work, cat and the day ends – the end being the best part. She gets an array of the best books in the world, right next to her pillow, for no fee.

‘Working from home’ has brought along a way for discovery – of self, of interests, of loved ones, of people around, of life, generally, and of life, specifically. I must say that a profound mind and a profound life is in making, thanks to the turn life has taken *Amen*.

A great quote, which I happened to hear in a popular comedy show, would be fine to end this blog – if your present is not better than your past, you’re not living your life the way it’s supposed to be lived. *Cheers* 

The Fear of Non-existence

Do you know what knocks down a modern thinker and an urban dweller’s soul, especially if that soul resides in a female body? Its not the fear of some deadly animal like dinosaur, who might anytime come into the picture since we know that they have been there some where in history, all thanks to Steven Spielberg, or the fear of being married to a broke or an ugly man, or the major and grimmer ones… pimples, the other girl’s beau being more desirable, appearing as a butterball in public or what not!

Ahh… I think these all have been outmoded and a new fear which has sprouted, with due regards to certain adverse circumstances, is the fear of non-existence! This fear is eating away the feminine brain. Nowadays, a stretched arm to father, brother or spouse is next to experiencing a nightmare!

Thanks to fire that the concept of gender equity has fueled, the fair sex now can’t survive with a subordinate treatment. Slipping through ages, woman has never shared a parallel space with man and such is the outcome of ages of maltreatment that woman now stands for herself, without feeling the need of asking the other gender to do so. Be it in pain, in happiness, while winning, after losing, having survived or have lost, woman has learnt to be there for herself.

The heart of the matter is that the even the masculine sex now feels and understands the call of the hour, i.e., its-securer-to-bow-or-loose-your-job!

Watch out in any aspect of city life and you would be witnessing the male extending his arm for help in some or the other sphere of daily chore, be it at home or at work.

The topic to burn your brain on is when and how this massive change crept in that the gender once being associated with egotism, rawness, uncivil behavior, forthright position, authoritarian way of living, and always-right mental attitude is now finding pleasure in being called chivalrous, caring, cooperating, and to top them all, tender!

Towing it on a grimmer note, this has surely added immense pressure on female’s shoulders to outperform each time she is in the arena so as to escape being a matter of mockery by the counter sex. No wonder why females are chucking out males in all the top positions, because the fight is no more with them but with self. The fear of non-existence and the feeling of ending up being a dot if life would let be inside the four walls is horrifying each city girl today.

May be, that is why we find maximum number of girls moving out of their homes in the morning carrying their bags on the shoulders and an attitude to kick all the jackasses who dare to come in the way in their minds!

Thankfully, these winds of change bringing the phenomenal shift in attitudes have also brought along the realization of self-strength, self-confidence, faith, and confidence on self-capabilities by the female. No wonder, this could have happened way long back, but never mind, finally, the arena is ours!