Why Do You No Longer Ask?

This is the question to all the new age women, who love putting themselves into various shoes in an attempt to prove them as independent – why do you no longer ask? There were and there are strong pillars of a house existing right there; yet, why do you no longer register their presence? You have the power and the ability and, then, there comes sharing not only responsibilities but also desires, wishes and dreams; the question is why do you no longer let anyone enter that sphere of your mind?

I recall a conversation that I had with a colleague while on my way back home. She was utterly dissatisfied with the paltry salary she drew every month and thought she won’t ever be able to realize her bigger, expensive dreams. When asked what those bigger, expensive dreams were, ‘travelling, diamonds and clothes’ was all she said with a heavy sigh. I remember her boasting about her well-off family and her husband, who was down-to-earth despite being placed at a very high position in a reputed MNC. I wondered why she doesn’t ask her husband to participate in fulfilling her dreams, why she doesn’t  ask him to contribute. I probably would have done that tad too loud that she came back to add to what she had already said. She remarked, “I am not cheap to ask my husband to fulfill my dreams.” I could not find words to frame a reply then, but this sentence left me awake way past my bed time. ‘Why not?’ was all I wanted to question.

There were days when men would take care of their partners as a responsibility. There was an unsaid, mutually consented procedure of leading life, celebrating festivities, attending to extended family and saving money. Although there was only one person earning, the efforts of the other to nourish the family never went unnoticed. The wife would proudly ask her husband to fulfill all her demands, no matter how big or small. The question is – has earning left us, women, in a bad shape, where we are not able to suffice our expectations of ourselves and not able to extend our hand in order to ask? This egotistical aspect of our personalities has come to light now, when we have some money in our hands, but the responsibilities have nowhere gone down.

The funny thing is that the male counterpart in the house still appears ready to play his role, but alas! he’s being kept in the dark regarding the matters going on in the mind of the wife. He would well be ready to come back with a solution or an answer if only he was given a chance, but he’s being deliberately detached from the inner self of his woman, the self which dreams.

Here’s small message to all those who have stopped asking their partners to dive into their dreams – go and command! Create a common domain which might give way to utmost happiness for the family. Ask your partner for a ring, a suit, a shirt or a holiday. Work towards it in collaboration and enjoy the immense satisfaction your current status of ‘working’ will bless you with. After all, the fact that you ‘earn’ shouldn’t mean you should stop ‘asking’ for things since you now already have the money to fulfill your desires. It should rather mean that the family gets a better lifestyle with all the dreams getting comfortably fulfilled.      

Face-off with Failure

One of the hundred, and probably the most crucial, reasons why a person fails in accomplishing a task he aims at is he just wasn’t ready enough to face the opportunity at hand with all the arms it required him to bring to the table. What’s worse, it takes us tad too long to make out where we were wrong and where we needed to improve; result? An even worse turn of events unfolding.

A rather tough array of events takes place when you become a little too confident about the coming success that you can almost hear its doorsteps walking towards your main door and bah! you encounter failure disguised as success. Yes, I use the word disguised. For so has happened with me and I think this has been a first in life.

Out of the blue, you see an opportunity waving at you; you sense you must be extra special for someone to fall for you; you start running in whichever position you find yourself without carrying the right stuff you might need in order to keep the conversation going; you get treated really well and this inflates your chest further; you come back home and start counting days waiting for a reply; you chase for an answer; you do receive a reply which says you were not good enough. This could demand a frantic behavior of the protagonist, who also might end up passing cuss words for that fido who frigging waved. Anddd this is precisely where you go wrong.

Quickly accepting defeat is, I know, loser’s avenue, but figuring out the reasons to become better is a real sensible person’s trademark. That’s why I attributed failure as ‘disguised success’ for it is going to be an awesome teacher for you for the coming future. This, in fact, is going to make way for bigger opportunities and your bang-on-time preparedness. Sometimes finding a way to hear what we want is what they call as ‘preparing’.

The feeling is bad, I know, but when you see other opportunities waiting for you right at the end of the road you are treading on, you watch your steps this time and walk steady while getting yourself in the best state of mind to face them. You also give a high five to Steve Jobs (in your mind, of course) for saying the following words, “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.” For him, they did; likewise, for me, better days are on their way to meet me.