Monday, April 24, 2017

Why Do You No Longer Ask?

This is the question to all the new age women, who love putting themselves into various shoes in an attempt to prove them as independent – why do you no longer ask? There were and there are strong pillars of a house existing right there; yet, why do you no longer register their presence? You have the power and the ability and, then, there comes sharing not only responsibilities but also desires, wishes and dreams; the question is why do you no longer let anyone enter that sphere of your mind?

I recall a conversation that I had with a colleague while on my way back home. She was utterly dissatisfied with the paltry salary she drew every month and thought she won’t ever be able to realize her bigger, expensive dreams. When asked what those bigger, expensive dreams were, ‘travelling, diamonds and clothes’ was all she said with a heavy sigh. I remember her boasting about her well-off family and her husband, who was down-to-earth despite being placed at a very high position in a reputed MNC. I wondered why she doesn’t ask her husband to participate in fulfilling her dreams, why she doesn’t  ask him to contribute. I probably would have done that tad too loud that she came back to add to what she had already said. She remarked, “I am not cheap to ask my husband to fulfill my dreams.” I could not find words to frame a reply then, but this sentence left me awake way past my bed time. ‘Why not?’ was all I wanted to question.

There were days when men would take care of their partners as a responsibility. There was an unsaid, mutually consented procedure of leading life, celebrating festivities, attending to extended family and saving money. Although there was only one person earning, the efforts of the other to nourish the family never went unnoticed. The wife would proudly ask her husband to fulfill all her demands, no matter how big or small. The question is – has earning left us, women, in a bad shape, where we are not able to suffice our expectations of ourselves and not able to extend our hand in order to ask? This egotistical aspect of our personalities has come to light now, when we have some money in our hands, but the responsibilities have nowhere gone down.

The funny thing is that the male counterpart in the house still appears ready to play his role, but alas! he’s being kept in the dark regarding the matters going on in the mind of the wife. He would well be ready to come back with a solution or an answer if only he was given a chance, but he’s being deliberately detached from the inner self of his woman, the self which dreams.

Here’s small message to all those who have stopped asking their partners to dive into their dreams – go and command! Create a common domain which might give way to utmost happiness for the family. Ask your partner for a ring, a suit, a shirt or a holiday. Work towards it in collaboration and enjoy the immense satisfaction your current status of ‘working’ will bless you with. After all, the fact that you ‘earn’ shouldn’t mean you should stop ‘asking’ for things since you now already have the money to fulfill your desires. It should rather mean that the family gets a better lifestyle with all the dreams getting comfortably fulfilled.      

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Long distance, Skype and the things which irk me the most

I have to thank technology for its whole, truckload of contribution in my life. I would not have been able to survive a long-distance relationship if it wasn’t there. I know thousands of couples continue to kindle their relationships, no matter how far their spouses would be, through whatever combustible environment technology provides them.

Back in time, when it was decided that my spouse would be moving out of the nation in search of greener pastures, I was deeply disappointed for I knew my weekends would lose their meaning – and they did. I started to look sad and ugly on weekends, too (I work from home on the five weekdays and the weekends were the only time when I, all dolled up, got to step out of the four walls I constantly stared at the rest of the days). Anyway, time swooshed by and I couldn’t even get to know when it was five months already.

For all these days, we constantly were in touch – through phone (thanks to the free international minutes VoIP blesses you with) and Skype. Yes, this latter application has impeccably bridged the distance and talking is almost like catching up over coffee. A slight difference still exists – on our coffee dates, I looked the best of me and he, well he “tried” to look good J. Now, our dates are a mirror of how we would “actually” look at home.

It’s been quite some time since we have been putting this application to serious use and, now, I have started to get irked by it. Why? Well, at times, while talking, he would pan the phone camera across his flat and I would suddenly feel like flying to his place. And you smell romance here?! Read on.

I get deeply bothered by the mess around there and feel itched to CLEAN HIS ROOM (and fly back J)! Right from the kitchen to the hall and further to the bedroom, I don’t see a place a person could possible sit on or at. Ohkay, I might be getting way too serious about the normal behavior of ‘boys’ as you say, but what do you have to say about the concept of ‘cleaning’. Cleaning home, according to him, means packing his bag – just the bag!
Meanwhile; somewhere on the planet.
Precisely, an easy out to most of the problems out there!

As I calm down, I understand there are ways people live by and it’s not necessary yours would perfectly overlap with your partner’s and I totally believe contrasts like these give way to a rainbow of colors you would not have ever noticed had life been spick-and-span like a monochrome light.

To put off the heat of the argument, he has a strategy which seems to work, almost always. I am rather compelled to stop ranting when I am told I sound more like a girl. Fact check: I am a girl. Super-twist: I never want to sound like one. Reason: No, that’s not an insult. Further explanation: Stop pissing me off, will you? I am a perfect mix of the best of the girl and the boy traits (with the former dominating a bit. A BIT.) No matter what, messy room is not acceptable. No, I don't want to see it all over again. Wait! I would not be able to see you otherwise. I love Skype. Rant Over.
Backatcha!
  
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