The Birthday Dilemma

I safely landed in my late twenties last Wednesday and I must say the wisdom coming with ageing is nowhere close to what I had imagined it would be when I was far too young to look at this age with awe. This moment, this very second while I breathe and type this out, I have realized how time is tricking me into ageing while my brain is not budging from the status quo. It’s all in the mind, as they say, I realize how people take ages to grow up, while their body timeclock happily ticks away their minutes left to live.

I see people getting overtly crazy by the idea of celebrating the weekends, but I am also amazed thinking how living life by the weekends is leaving them with only four chances to ‘actually live’ every month. The rest of the time, they were just striking days off the calendar doing the stuff they call their routine. This was dark!

Never mind, while I'm still trying to fit in to the world of ‘grownups’ now, there are a few shocking acceptances that I have made, that I never thought I would but never did I know that I would be given options to choose from. Growing up is, indeed, funny and it gets sexier with age!

Aunty: You have got to make friends with this salutation, if you’re like me, a still-young girl in her late twenties. Kids do not know what to call you, because their moms, who you hang out with, are already planning their second. You cannot be the kids’ ‘rakhi sister’ because you just don’t fit in; hence, aunty.

Hola books!: They will be the sanest, safest, most interesting piece of wisdom you will ever come across. Besides, they don’t judge you and, yes, they don’t care.

Learn to earn: For a girl like me who belongs to the digital media space, learning never really stops – the sooner you accept this, the better. You’ll grow stale in the industry if you let your knowledge stay buried in your closet.

Tyaag-balidaan: Sometimes you would stop and wonder if it's really you, but trust me, having reached at this stage and this point in life, I DO think about my parents and spouse before I actively think about myself, be it in any front. I wouldn’t call it tyaag-balidaan per se, but hell yeah, it does feel like it and it silently engulfs your way of thinking in entirety. Now you know why your mom is the way she is.

Kids, yes I want to PLAN: I remember talking with my girlies, while still in my teenage, on how we would be able to put this to our parents that ‘yes we did it, and yay, we have been successful’; it would just get so effing apparent. This concept kind of feels nauseating in early twenties, but I am amazed how things change. While you’re still riding double happily after initial years of marriage, you feel the need of the third. Gradually, you start feeling being a part of this universe, you might just have a darn serious role to play in Darwin’s theory of evolution!

Money is the lube: No love, no trust, no other bullshit can replace the power of this five-letter word. It could actually engulf all merry, madness and magic; yes, money matters.

There’s more to you: Why not keep surprising yourself with things you never knew you could do, talents you never knew you could acquire and skills you never knew you could master – there’s no age barrier to learning, after all.

An open heart: In the era where we live, nobody really cares what others think of his personal life, but trust me, he would silently want to seek support from people around him. Carrying an open heart and increased degree of acceptance would lead to way simpler lives of people around you and, of course, to you commanding great respect for yourself.

Some more ME time: I love the girls who love themselves, who take care of themselves – what they wear, how they look, how they carry themselves, the style, the attitude – the girls who actually give time to themselves. I love this section of the community. They do not know how they become an inspiration for millions, who want to become like them. Some time is all it takes!

Nobody cares: Yes! So, at the end of the day, the only person who needs to be happy, satisfied and content is the person I’m gonna be looking at every day in the mirror! Trust me, rest everyone is totally busy to even think about us. So, I would rather do the things which make me want to embrace myself and love myself a little more.

This concept of birthdays, the time passing and its sudden reminders look all too amusing; you know when the last second passed, but do not know how the last year did. Why not we all might as well be our happiest in these years tiptoeing by us?

Book Review # 12: You've Got the Wrong Girl

My rating: ●●● ø ○

Sreemoyee Piu Kundu

You've Got the Wrong Girl

India: Hachette, 2016

376 pp. ₹350

ISBN: 9789350095805

Summary: A girl, put off by the pomp and show of a big-fat wedding, decides to take a stroll in a garden adjoining the venue of a wedding happening somewhere in the vicinity of Taj Mahal and takes notice of a boy who seems like rehearsing a hate speech. Following a long, meaningless yet interesting conversation, they both make out. Revealing nothing about each other, they part, with the girl taking a promise that the boy will never search for her. Letting every detail of that night out to everyone in the form a book, which eventually becomes a bestseller, while still trying to preserve it for himself, he’s, after good three years, now poked for a sequel to the first part. The first part was not a fiction. The second part could also not be a work of fiction. The boy now wants to look for the girl to complete his ‘love’ story. He has an ex-girlfriend who decides to come back. There is a whole lot of intriguing twists and interesting mess. Everyone deserves a love story.   

What really clicked? The title! It really intrigues a casual onlooker to further nosedive deep into the story, the message and the end.

My take: The book spans in three units – book one, book two and book three – all comprising of the perfect masala brewing in the protagonist, Dushyant’s life. Dushyant is an author by fluke, and ends up getting the plot for his first book following the incidents happening in his life. His girlfriend from school ends up getting hitched with his best friend, and this causes him to gatecrash their wedding. While he rehearses his hate speech in a garden adjacent to the venue, he ends up meeting Diya, a mysterious girl who is bored of the wedding and needed a break. They make out without really letting out much information about each other, including their names and part promising they won’t try to look for each other.

The rest of the first part would seem more of a drag where the author is being convinced by his publishing manager and his close aide, Bhaskar, to come out with a sequel to his first book which entirely talks about this fling with a stranger and the aftereffects it had on his mind.

The second and the third part talk about how he finds the girl, clue by clue, and what goes on when they meet in a super shady, red light area of Kolkata, Sonagachi, how things f*ck up further due to misunderstandings which occur when his ex-girlfriend decides to come back to his life and how every character in the story, be it Bhaskar, Pri (sister), Dad and Mom (of Dushyant), Anjali (the ex), Vicky, (the best friend) and Shonali (assistant of Diya in an NGO where she works), have a definite role to play which contributes to giving a pace to the story.

The story gets terribly lengthy and verbose defining the first night that Dushyant gets to spend with Diya and further references to this sound clichéd all the while. The author has also added a lot of drama to the story using the Vitamin ‘sex’, which has only made the story something to stay glued to.

The story, towards the end, gains momentum and kills the reader with twists and turns which lead to the protagonist finally meeting his lover and coming clean, confessing his love. As they say, ‘everyone deserves a love story’, the protagonist ends up securing his, making the wrong girl, who actually was the right girl for him, his forever!

The author's writing style has improved leaps and bounds from her last release, Sita's curse. The well-researched parts of the story, including description of the places unexplored in Kolkata, narration of the connection of the protagonist with Kalidasa's Abhigyan Shakuntalam and of the hi-fi weddings all seem perfectly fitted together, each having a message to convey in the bigger meaning of the story.  This book by Kundu shall make you stay entertained to the last page, while also giving you occasional spaces to yawn and can-but-won't skip. 

Final word: There are some stories which, despite being predictable towards the end, do not sound clichéd and this book is one from the lot. This, my second read from Kundu, is a great work of fiction which stands on a whole lot of research, sound logic and all sorts of nonsensical feelings one goes through while falling and being in love!

Largely Inquisitive

‘Check your dupatta and don’t let it fall off your shoulder’, Ma reminded Alka as they set out for a blind date, to meet a prospective family they might want to extend relations with. The Khanna’s have been looking for a groom for Alka for quite some time now, seven months to be precise, but have not been able to meet someone who would even closely satisfy the expectations of four members of the immediate family and the rest forty-five of the extended one. This particular prospect looked close enough to the ideal and, thus, everyone was interested to know more about them.

Kudos to the Internet and the startups mushrooming today, for they have not left any possible thing one could think of having done not having a way out online. From finding a groom to getting married to planning a kid to finding a lawyer – Google has an answer to all. Internet had played a role massive enough in the life of Alka that now she was about to meet someone she might just end up sleeping with for the rest of her life. That was only one of the aspects of the married life, she knew, but a grand one she just couldn’t let her thoughts off from.

Alka had always been an average performer throughout her life, according to her parents. She never scored ‘excellent’ to top in the class nor she cleared any of the famous entrance exams post high school. Therefore, her parents never expected big out of her and, surprisingly, so did Alka. She had a different perspective of looking at her life. Though she never topped any exams taken in school or post that, she still held a successful career of a data analyst, thanks to her keenness in mathematics. She was getting decently paid, not even close to what her ‘better performing’ classmates were, but decent enough for her to spend and save. She never attempted at the impossible but always expected great things to happen to her despite that. All her life before this day, she had had a lot of ‘close’ friends she used to hang out with, but none of them was ‘ideal’ enough for her parents to let her settle with. Thus, this day.

A family of four met a clan of three, all trying to fit awkwardly in a table for six in TGIF, Rajouri; thanks to the weekend and discounts up everywhere that successfully pulled out even the non-shoppers to come out and shop and, also, eat. While the families were busy in exchanging pleasantries, the two, Alka and Nakul, were just able to exchange glances. She had studied his profile on merishadi.com, tried to find him on every social media possible – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, GooglePlus, LinkedIn and, even, Tinder and she believed he would have done his part of investigations, too.

She was here on a purpose – either to find a better person than all her past beaus or to prove her parents wrong. She had gulped whole bunch of articles learning how to behave on your first date, like how to impress a family on your first meeting with them, how to drop subtle hints to the boy that there’s more to you, how to catch the ideal fish and how do you know he’s the one. Internet, once again, could play a massive role by being a sound informer to her. After having a pizza with a brick-like base, topped with chicken crumbs and a lot of cheese, it occurred to the elders that they should let the two speak to each other in private. Thus, a long walk down the aisle leading to the staircase and back.

This time, these moments, Alka has been waiting for this since the time they met. She finally waited for him to break the ice. With semblance to a corporate interview, Nakul began interrogating Alka about her life, her present and her plans for future. She bounced the same questions back at him and found him to be quite interesting. A few questions, some jokes and the meeting ended there.

The families liked each other as much as they had liked the profiles about each other on merishadi. Time flew and the two asked for more time and space to fill up with them unfurling. Long chats, unending text conversations and frequent phone calls had helped these two strangers know great deal about each other. Internet, once again, was her savior as she could talk as well as see him online for as good as free. She just loved technology and the time she was born in, when it is blooming at an unmatched pace.

There was a road which they were both treading on, the road which at first glance seemed really dark, and the one which was lightening itself up with each step taken forward. However, this road had a drawback; it lost all its sheen for every step taken backward. Nakul was forthcoming in revealing everything about himself, how he was not good with girls, or rather with the girls who did not find him interesting enough unless he had started earning, about how his relationships with these girls could never lead to any fling and how he only dreamt about the ones he could possibly hitch with but couldn’t, thanks to his lack of self-confidence.

In spite of him being extroverted about his life, Alka was smart enough to always weigh everything before she spoke. For her, the fact that their vibes matched was pretty much enough for them to start living together. It didn’t matter to her if he was new or a player, for she was prepared to never be judgmental on any grounds. Nakul, on the other hand, was largely inquisitive about her past, as he didn’t have any ‘darn happening’ thing ever happened to him and he, anyway, held a right to be informed.

On a final meeting before their marriage, Alka had to ventilate her thoughts out on what she feels is right. With tone full of pragmatism, she said, ‘I see this coming life together as a long vacation, the one which will bring us many surprises, happiness, tears and challenges along the way but it will be happy as long as we only tread forward. There’s a clear line of differentiation in time before I met you and the one after it. What really happened back then would always sound like a story to you and I’m no good a storyteller. So, the questions you’ve deep in your mind but never put forth, about my virginity, about how I came to know about sex, about how I ‘felt’ about my body changing and if I ever took any stupid steps to get answers to this inquisitiveness will all be interesting subjects for us to talk long on, but the ‘real’ answers for you to believe in will neither be blown nor they will be shown. You’re welcome if you, too, are willing to look forward on the path, while having interesting tête-à-tête over bottles of beer chilling right now, somewhere in the future.’

Nakul had no reasons why he should still be inquisitive about the ‘stories’ from the past.

What’s with this 'Bitchy' Trend?

There is a plain absurd trend in buzz, which is too tangy to bite and gulp down all in one breath. The reason it is too absurd is why I was compelled to take up for a long rant. The social media, where unless we are active people won’t believe we are alive, has actually become a battleground for people to show how they stand out. In this mad struggle, they have started choosing roads which are one-way and have no rules for treading whatsoever.

The new trend of reveling in calling oneself a ‘bitch’ seems inexplicable under every circumstance. So, you see pictures of girls pouting, posing weird and putting on a virtual gothic aura, trying to look like a rebel who must have done something extremely weird, calling themselves ‘bitches’. So, these new age bitches feel it is some sort of honor they have given themselves, something which makes them shine out from the crowd, giving them a distinct identity.

Mind you, this road is all one-way, for this passes like a breeze only till they use this cussword for themselves. They tend to make huge hue and cry out of situations where they are apparently called the same by people around them; for instance, strangers they bump into, hawkers they keep haggling with, drivers whose cars they keep ramming, guards who they demean or their parents, for that matter, who they don’t budge before misbehaving with. Under all these contexts, the cuss injures their ego to the point they are compelled to fill their eyes to the brim with kohl and then cry it all out. In fact, this whole drama is also accompanied by situational roleplaying of 'I-was-abused' that it takes days for them to get back to their usual ‘I-am-still-a-bitch’ self.

Call it generation gap or that I have passed the age to tune out any bullshit, I simply don’t get why wouldn’t one call herself a slut, for that matter, if it does no derogation to her image or reputation?

*slow slap (oops, clap)*

I see.

Book Review: The Wedding Photographer

My rating: ●●○○○

Sakshama Puri Dhariwal

The Wedding Photographer

India: Penguin Books Ltd, 2016

219 pp. ₹299

ISBN: 9789386057266

Summary: This rom-com by the debutante Sakshama Puri Dhariwal would sound tad too clichéd if you’ve been fascinated by Fifty Shades and likes; also, if you are looking for some offbeat storyline or out-of-the-box romanticism, I am afraid this would not prove to be your cup-of-tea. This one is brief, simple, straightforward no-brainer, which will also occasionally make you laugh along the way.

My take: Risha, on her flight from LA to Delhi, ends up meeting ‘a billionaire with a Greek bod’ Arjun and this meeting ends in a flash with both of them taking some part of it sown inside them while they part. Risha, who is a full-time journalist and a part-time wedding photographer starts working on an assignment of covering Arjun’s sister’s wedding which turns out to be not only an extravagant but also a fun-filled affair. A typical Punjabi wedding that it is, Risha comes across various characters with distinctive features to their personalities and, also, gets to know Arjun too good to stay away from. A few other characters like Nidhi (Risha’s friend), Vikram (Nidhi’s husband and a famous cricketer), Rishabh (Risha’s gay friend) and Nani, too, have strong roles to play, helping the story shape to a perfect, predictable end.

A lot of readers have claimed this book to be an ideal script for a Bollywood flick and I dare to differ here. I think this will make for a stereotypical story heard over a million times, since you cannot really balance the entire story on occasional jokes you crack. I find the story well-researched, backed with relevant details and I particularly liked the writing style of the author – too good for a first timer! The language is on-point and the words all flow in perfect rhythm while making sense and not overdoing it at any point.

This book should interest teens as much as it would do the adults, for the author has cautiously refrained from including any adult content. The title fits perfectly fine, for the entire book is about this protagonist and her way with how her love life comes across her through the story. The cover would make a perfect poster for a movie; in fact, I find it vaguely similar to the poster of Hum Apke Hain Kaun! Putting it all together, you won’t really get bored if you’d pick this one for a quick read, but it surely would not be a great option if you love reading fresh every time you get your hands on any book.

Final word: The plot of a billionaire boy falling for a not-so-rich girl has been beaten shit out of following Fifty Shades success, yet this rom-com by the author promises to bring some fresh air to the room. I liked her writing style in particular, the one that keeps you glued till the last page, but unfortunately she chose the path which has been, I think, trodden on a million times. May be, that is why it all sounded tad too predictable and boring towards the end. Nevertheless, this brief read serves as an ideal recipe for a Prem-Suman-sort of Bollywood masala flick, the only difference being the female protagonist here has a knack for photography and socializing!   

Book Review: The PCOD - Thyroid Book

My ratings: ●●●●○

Rujuta Diwekar      

The PCOD - Thyroid Book

India: Westland, 2016

201 pp. ₹100

ISBN: 9789385724411

Summary: While this one might appear as another extremely informative, refreshing read from Rujuta, it, in reality, sounds starkly familiar if you have been following all her writings till this time. On the contrary, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if bible or any of your religious scriptures for that matter is read to you time and again, would you? Yes, this one is another health reference book for keeps.    

My take: I find the title of the book a bit deceiving, for the author does talk about the hormones and the problems them going haywire might cause to your body, a majority of it is about your general health and how changing your lifestyle actually reflects directly on your well-being. So, here, she loses marks for not being able to decide the title well. But you know what, I read on a popular website that one in seven people all through the world suffer from diseases related to thyroid and there she scored a homerun! She pretty well knows what she’s talking about.

To be honest, this one, health, is one of my favorite genres. I love reading any new content I get my hands on and I must have digested by now the books Rujuta has written, three in the past. There’s a problem with good authors being extremely explanatory to their readers – it leaves them with very little they could possibly share in their next compositions. She’s kind of tried to drain everything she ever knew down her reader’s mind in the past and, now, no matter what new she comes up with, it all sounds old-hat.

This book, though clearly says that it’s been compiled from Women and the Weight Loss Tamasha, follows similar line of content as her previous books. I see a lot of her readers scoffing at her writing style – I find that totally appropriate considering the segment of readers she is writing for, Indian women who love being told what to do. Her writing style, while on one hand is colloquial and desi, on the other it’s tad too authoritative and casual. I think she could surprise her readers with better English next time!

Furthermore, this low-priced edition addressed exclusively to PCOD- and thyroid-related disease sufferers is actually meant for everyone who wants to know the key to a healthy life. The author has been actively advocating the value of local, fresh food and that pretty much sums up the storyline of this book. She is also one of those few sports nutrionists and diet counselors we have in India who push people to eat what they have been asked to avoid. Not only this, she appears as a beacon of hope to people who hate working out, for she shows so many cool after-effects to ‘gymming’ that everyone reading her feels inspired to pull up his socks, like literally.

I did not like the cover much, for I just could not relate with the acronym “PT” used in bolds on the face of the book. Was it to sum up to use the initials of both the diseases she’s tried to talk about in the book – PCOD and thyroid? Very bad and unimaginative choice, I must say.     

Final word: This book would not disappoint you if you have been looking for any answers to PCOD- or thyroid-related questions and it wouldn’t disappoint you either if you have been just trying to find an informative health non-fiction in this. This fourth book by Rujuta Diwekar is a brief, informatory book about women’s health in general and sounds totally applicable to men’s health, too.