As if this would help…

I am deeply bewildered by the government’s thought of the cabinet reshuffle. This is as good as like… “Ohkay, I have had created enough chaos in the power sector, now let me take charge of the education sector. God save thy soul!”

The concept of “cabinet reshuffling” simply transits through my mind without leaving any residue behind. Oh! This was surely an inadvertently shot arrow of rhyme which has coincidentally hit the bull’s eye! The so-blue poet in me!

Anyway, holding the focus of the subject tight, the Indian government has showcased the two perfect examples of its idiocy. The first one being fixing no minimum educational qualifications for the country’s highest strata of jobs and second being this cabinet reshuffle.



Alright this Tom, Dick or Harry has finally accustomed himself to the art of taking care of the urban development aspect of the nation besides easily pocketing bigger chunk of wired papers, and his growth graph shows trembling pace of growth or a drunkard’s path to success, but some motion has been there, or whatever! Now, to gain a drunkard’s pace took this person half of his term.



Can anyone please tell me as to how would this help to the people choking under the reign of this “No-I-am-intelligent-and-I-will-prove-it” minister, was he handed over the petroleum ministry following the damned reshuffle? Nothing, but another half of the term for him to get hold of the basics and for common man to burn his sweat to let the lamp back home lit.

No technical expertise, no educational background, nothing to do with the field, here are the representatives of the so politically motivated democracy of fools and here is the common man, still recovering from the aftershocks!

Onion – 60/kg!

Half-a-logue!

I don’t know how, unwittingly, our nose, just like a GPS navigator, traces its way to anything tasty lying anywhere in the universe. Even the eyes manage to look out for some greener pastures here n there :).

Wonder what the ears do? They get bothered in the Delhi metro. Yes! They do. By so hard to avoid half-a-logue! No, I don’t have a special knack for getting into troubles, but I feel like giving a good spanking to all those talking loudly on phones, that too when they are taking public mode of commutation.

This evidently says that I take metro to reach my office and to come back as well!
Now, I know the right way is the conservative way, but emotions tend to overspill, no hard feelings! :(

I somehow, inadvertently, get involved in the other person’s tittle-tattles to the extent that I almost start considering myself a part of d conversation, failing to guess what the other person must have said.

Consider this, a really fat lady, occupying the certified-space-for-four alone, was talking so loudly on phone that I could not refrain myself from hearing what she has to say. The best part was that the attitude that she was carrying would surely amount to inter-multiplication of her vital stats.

Although I believe that people with attitude deserve the standing ovation of our highest finger, but anyhow, this blog was not meant to lent out my affection for over-sized aunts. Read on to see why I couldn’t help my ears elongate to almost enter her Ohh-so-girly mobile phone:

Aunt: Hain? unki beti kal kaha chali gayi thi…?
The other person on line [How would I know? :)]
Aunt: Accha accha!
The other person on line [The crap I should not care about, but I do :)]
Aunt: Kya?
The other person on line [Something cheesy I wish I could hear :(]
Aunt: On no! Ye to galat hai! Tujhe kya zarurt thi bolne ki!
The other person on line (May be too pissed off to continue any more :))
Aunt: Arre baap re! Main aaj hi aati hu!

Over-and-Out!

Having continuously been poked by her blustering voice, my mind was busy guessing, who on earth was she talking about, what might have happened, where she is going to go today etc. Thus, I spend my rest of the day thinking what might have happened.

This half-a-logue has plainly become a disease. The other day, I heard another Oh-I-am-so-cool guy, again in metro, whose half-a-logue went like this:

Snooty guy: Hey dude… ssup?
Snooty guy (again): No, I am not.
Snooty guy (Whrz-ur-mute-button?): No, am skippin dah! Wot bout ya?
Snooty guy (Shutt-uuppp): Oh-ok! What happened last night?
Snooty guy (Oh-ya!): Oh Jeez! You mz b kiddin!
Snooty guy (Oh-kay): Holy Cow! Don’t expect me to come dude!
Snooty guy (whaaatt? Tell me as well): You handle the situation! Best of luck.Take care!

It all happened step-by-step. His loud dressing style took my attention into his custody, his artificial accent dragged it to the court, his weird tone sentenced me to death and this bloody half-a-logue finally hung me to death!

But one thing is for sure, this half-a-logue has turned me into a music-addict. Though was of music, I was never so fond of plugging earphones in my ears, listening to music while travelling, but such are the life’s drearies.

This is an uncalled-for upshot, which has been adopted simply because neither I care where does this aunt’s whomsoever’s whosoever went yesterday, nor I care where did that dud’s whosoever jerky friend did last night! So, here I am!

These days, whenever my dad asks why I have choked up my ears with earplugs, I ask him to welcome another comfortably numb music freak! :)

I Bet Your Life Isn't That Safe!

Like they say... every step leaves behind a memory and every trip leaves behind plethora of anecdotes, waiting to be opened and spread.

Similar was my condition when I recently went to a very famous Hindu shrine, Vaishno Devi in Jammu. While on our way back to the railway station, we had a very interesting encounter with this driver who was driving our cab, and who seemed to be bumming with enlightening knowledge that the routine had imparted to him.

It happens many-a-times that we know something better, not because we have been reading or studying about it, but because we have been breathing with it since ages. Similar was the condition of this very fair person who had many things to tell us, the city people, who he thought must be only surviving on the daily dose of newspaper nuggets!

Initially, his gyaan seemed to be mere blabbing, until he suddenly switched to an intense topic, terrorism, the moment we crossed a divergence, in which the other way lead to Srinagar. There he went ahead, with altogether refueled blood in his veins and boundless excitement in his mind. That surely shooed away my travel fatigue as well.

This person said that watching terrorists was quite a norm there. Acknowledging his own courage and giving us a reason to raise our eyebrows, he said that he had seen a terrorist few days back, an unbathed, real shoddy, dingy in all senses man, dressed in green and carrying a machine gun on his shoulder. Absolutely ignorant to worldly pleasures and mighty demands, this person seemed to be very energetic, though looked just waked, having gathered information from his body language.

Indeed, that raised my goosebumps, not because the story sounded way too amazing to be able to excite any zombie, but because of the fear of catching one on our way back. Anyway, we reached safely and so ended our pilgrimage, but engraved in my mind is that driver, his encounter, and his very weird habit of a storyteller, which made me enter his mind and talk to his experiences… I still tremble… Oh my God! He has seen a terrorist!

The Fear of Non-existence

Do you know what knocks down a modern thinker and an urban dweller’s soul, especially if that soul resides in a female body? Its not the fear of some deadly animal like dinosaur, who might anytime come into the picture since we know that they have been there some where in history, all thanks to Steven Spielberg, or the fear of being married to a broke or an ugly man, or the major and grimmer ones… pimples, the other girl’s beau being more desirable, appearing as a butterball in public or what not!

Ahh… I think these all have been outmoded and a new fear which has sprouted, with due regards to certain adverse circumstances, is the fear of non-existence! This fear is eating away the feminine brain. Nowadays, a stretched arm to father, brother or spouse is next to experiencing a nightmare!

Thanks to fire that the concept of gender equity has fueled, the fair sex now can’t survive with a subordinate treatment. Slipping through ages, woman has never shared a parallel space with man and such is the outcome of ages of maltreatment that woman now stands for herself, without feeling the need of asking the other gender to do so. Be it in pain, in happiness, while winning, after losing, having survived or have lost, woman has learnt to be there for herself.

The heart of the matter is that the even the masculine sex now feels and understands the call of the hour, i.e., its-securer-to-bow-or-loose-your-job!

Watch out in any aspect of city life and you would be witnessing the male extending his arm for help in some or the other sphere of daily chore, be it at home or at work.

The topic to burn your brain on is when and how this massive change crept in that the gender once being associated with egotism, rawness, uncivil behavior, forthright position, authoritarian way of living, and always-right mental attitude is now finding pleasure in being called chivalrous, caring, cooperating, and to top them all, tender!

Towing it on a grimmer note, this has surely added immense pressure on female’s shoulders to outperform each time she is in the arena so as to escape being a matter of mockery by the counter sex. No wonder why females are chucking out males in all the top positions, because the fight is no more with them but with self. The fear of non-existence and the feeling of ending up being a dot if life would let be inside the four walls is horrifying each city girl today.

May be, that is why we find maximum number of girls moving out of their homes in the morning carrying their bags on the shoulders and an attitude to kick all the jackasses who dare to come in the way in their minds!

Thankfully, these winds of change bringing the phenomenal shift in attitudes have also brought along the realization of self-strength, self-confidence, faith, and confidence on self-capabilities by the female. No wonder, this could have happened way long back, but never mind, finally, the arena is ours!

Self-dependence!

He who depends on himself will attain the greatest happiness!!

Nerd Alert

I think I have been bitten by some tech-savvy bug who has injected some of his highly contagious spittle into my veins making me talk and walk like a nerd! So now, face the torrent of my preternatural thoughts!

Umm… why are we super-possessed with predicting negative future? I remember when I was a kid, even if I was asked to write a report stating how, according to me, the world would be, say, after 10 years, I would be all like live-nerd, predicting every damn-so-weirdly-weird thing which either must have had been seen in some cartoons series or read somewhere or just like that!

For instance, I would say that I must be taking meals in tablet form or I must be flying around in Hoverboard jet cars or the world would get swamped in melted results of global warming and probably end, to be on safer side! :) Imagine… within just 10 years! :)

So, considering this as a normal human behaviour to get inclined to negativity while predicting the future, I further move on saying that Predicting Future has evolved a full fledged multi-zillions industry by now. People can now predict future using stars, tea leaves, crystal balls, tarot cards, spirit boards, octopuses or to worsen the situation, urine bubbles or even poop!!!!!

The heart of the matter is that people really love talking about and predicting doomsday. The early Christians believed that Jesus would come back in their life time, and that his coming would usher in God’s reign on earth and here ceases the human time. Over the years, the Christians and non-Christians have been fighting hard to allocate a firm date and thankfully, they both have been consistently failing till now. And yes, my mom has been telling me about Kalki since I dont remember when!

The new fuss, December 12, 2012! Not really! I bet the world would not end then. It has been made out that the big Mayan Calendar, which is just so footage-maniac that it has been in news from dunno when, is off by 50-100 years. How could one overwrite the ages old Mayan calendar with the modern Gregorian calendar, gee whiz!!? Technically, the end of the world would have had happened ages before, but we gruff Homo sapiens are still alive and breathing! Damn!

Not just this, even Time magazine predicted the onset of some ice age, citing global cooler temperatures and numerous other dangerously weird warning signs!

But the interesting part is that science fiction writers are marvelous future predictors! Like for instance:

• A space odyssey so accurately predicted the iPad in 1968, and I am still dreaming about it :)

• Interpol are testing out softwares that can predict crime before it happens… well, would be a boon for Indian thullas; they anyway don’t move from their chairs if not given any substantial reason or substantial piece of wired paper to do so! :P

•  In 1893, Jules Verne predicted the Internet, skyscrapers, calculators and a freakin’ building called Eiffel Tower, 23 years before it was actually built.

Somewhere this nerd-spittle rush assures me that even I could be a future-predictor... like I predict that you would read the next line of this blog.

Ha! You did!! Someone, please get me a diamond-studded crown!

Ohh yes! even Japanese futurists have come up with several cool, educated and guesstimated predictions like:

• By 2022, synthetic blood will make blood transfusions unnecessary, :)

• In 2026, we’ll finally have our robot maids, and I would kick my kit-kit maid out!

• By 2038, we’ll have aircraft that doesn’t run on fossil fuel, and I would probably own one!

These are quite convenient thoughts to flow along, by the way, and I would love to believe them! Way to go, Science!