Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Nerd Alert

I think I have been bitten by some tech-savvy bug who has injected some of his highly contagious spittle into my veins making me talk and walk like a nerd! So now, face the torrent of my preternatural thoughts!

Umm… why are we super-possessed with predicting negative future? I remember when I was a kid, even if I was asked to write a report stating how, according to me, the world would be, say, after 10 years, I would be all like live-nerd, predicting every damn-so-weirdly-weird thing which either must have had been seen in some cartoons series or read somewhere or just like that!

For instance, I would say that I must be taking meals in tablet form or I must be flying around in Hoverboard jet cars or the world would get swamped in melted results of global warming and probably end, to be on safer side! :) Imagine… within just 10 years! :)

So, considering this as a normal human behaviour to get inclined to negativity while predicting the future, I further move on saying that Predicting Future has evolved a full fledged multi-zillions industry by now. People can now predict future using stars, tea leaves, crystal balls, tarot cards, spirit boards, octopuses or to worsen the situation, urine bubbles or even poop!!!!!

The heart of the matter is that people really love talking about and predicting doomsday. The early Christians believed that Jesus would come back in their life time, and that his coming would usher in God’s reign on earth and here ceases the human time. Over the years, the Christians and non-Christians have been fighting hard to allocate a firm date and thankfully, they both have been consistently failing till now. And yes, my mom has been telling me about Kalki since I dont remember when!

The new fuss, December 12, 2012! Not really! I bet the world would not end then. It has been made out that the big Mayan Calendar, which is just so footage-maniac that it has been in news from dunno when, is off by 50-100 years. How could one overwrite the ages old Mayan calendar with the modern Gregorian calendar, gee whiz!!? Technically, the end of the world would have had happened ages before, but we gruff Homo sapiens are still alive and breathing! Damn!

Not just this, even Time magazine predicted the onset of some ice age, citing global cooler temperatures and numerous other dangerously weird warning signs!

But the interesting part is that science fiction writers are marvelous future predictors! Like for instance:

  • A space odyssey so accurately predicted the iPad in 1968, and I am still dreaming about it :)

  • Interpol are testing out softwares that can predict crime before it happens… well, would be a boon for Indian thullas; they anyway don’t move from their chairs if not given any substantial reason or substantial piece of wired paper to do so! :P

  •  In 1893, Jules Verne predicted the Internet, skyscrapers, calculators and a freakin’ building called Eiffel Tower, 23 years before it was actually built.

Somewhere this nerd-spittle rush assures me that even I could be a future-predictor... like I predict that you would read the next line of this blog.

Ha! You did!! Someone, please get me a diamond-studded crown!

Ohh yes! even Japanese futurists have come up with several cool, educated and guesstimated predictions like:

  • By 2022, synthetic blood will make blood transfusions unnecessary, :)

  • In 2026, we’ll finally have our robot maids, and I would kick my kit-kit maid out!

  • By 2038, we’ll have aircraft that doesn’t run on fossil fuel, and I would probably own one!

These are quite convenient thoughts to flow along, by the way, and I would love to believe them! Way to go, Science!


manjusha said...

yaar.kya baat hai.............

Cheena Chopra said...

@Manjush: Thanks Madam! :)

Searching my soul said...

Lovely reading.....put a smile on my face....felt light and if I was back to yesteryears...really enjoyed it...and may all your wishes come true..AMEN !

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