Chronicles from the Corner Office - II

It’s heartwarming to see people who we follow speak, pouring their brains out on things that actually matter to us or to the world. Does this change the situation in any manner? No. Yet, we feel that we have been pacified now that we know how that super-human feels.

Shahrukh Khan recently came out of the closet speaking how he feels about the Indian media being tad too judgmental, manipulative or meddlesome about the stars keeping shut on topics that matter to the rest of the world. Well, there he is finally saying, “there are a lot of idiots who will also start speaking up since you are asking them to. Believe me, you don’t want to hear them”. True that! The standard of Indian journalism seems to be plummeting at a speed unimaginable, as is obvious from what we are being fed via various media. Shows like Saas, Bahu aur Saazish or Sansani have been airing on media for plain entertainment. Moreover, sensationalism has been coming handy as a tool for the media to attract more and more eyeballs to let out fancy and commercial yet empty and unworthy news. We see random people being approached for their opinions on matters that least matter to them. Further, social media has extended its reach to every amateur who has ever wanted to speak. This way, celebrities have been blathering on topics ranging from security of the nation to state elections.   

Reaching home after work, seldom I find interest or energy to endure news out of all the options I can possibly find on the television. The reason is plain and simple: private media is trying to create point of views by utilizing snippets, bytes, pieces and words to somehow bolster their points.  

News readers are no more the people telling us the 5 Ws/1H and are in turn basking in the stardom they have gained by indulging in fashion or creativity while presenting the news. Instead of facts, I find myself drowning in varied point of views. Result: I do not know what happened, but I know what everyone felt or said about it. The media world is going bonkers manipulating news as per their interests, no matter monetary or competitive and is no more the first source of information about anything happening anywhere. Therefore, it’s easy for me to quickly dodge the news channels on TV as soon as I accidentally surf them and, instead, watch travel channels just for the heck of the visual appeal they extend. :)

Long distance, Skype and the things which irk me the most

I have to thank technology for its whole, truckload of contribution in my life. I would not have been able to survive a long-distance relationship if it wasn’t there. I know thousands of couples continue to kindle their relationships, no matter how far their spouses would be, through whatever combustible environment technology provides them.

Back in time, when it was decided that my spouse would be moving out of the nation in search of greener pastures, I was deeply disappointed for I knew my weekends would lose their meaning – and they did. I started to look sad and ugly on weekends, too (I work from home on the five weekdays and the weekends were the only time when I, all dolled up, got to step out of the four walls I constantly stared at the rest of the days). Anyway, time swooshed by and I couldn’t even get to know when it was five months already.

For all these days, we constantly were in touch – through phone (thanks to the free international minutes VoIP blesses you with) and Skype. Yes, this latter application has impeccably bridged the distance and talking is almost like catching up over coffee. A slight difference still exists – on our coffee dates, I looked the best of me and he, well he “tried” to look good J. Now, our dates are a mirror of how we would “actually” look at home.

It’s been quite some time since we have been putting this application to serious use and, now, I have started to get irked by it. Why? Well, at times, while talking, he would pan the phone camera across his flat and I would suddenly feel like flying to his place. And you smell romance here?! Read on.

I get deeply bothered by the mess around there and feel itched to CLEAN HIS ROOM (and fly back J)! Right from the kitchen to the hall and further to the bedroom, I don’t see a place a person could possible sit on or at. Ohkay, I might be getting way too serious about the normal behavior of ‘boys’ as you say, but what do you have to say about the concept of ‘cleaning’. Cleaning home, according to him, means packing his bag – just the bag!

Meanwhile; somewhere on the planet.

Precisely, an easy out to most of the problems out there!

As I calm down, I understand there are ways people live by and it’s not necessary yours would perfectly overlap with your partner’s and I totally believe contrasts like these give way to a rainbow of colors you would not have ever noticed had life been spick-and-span like a monochrome light.

To put off the heat of the argument, he has a strategy which seems to work, almost always. I am rather compelled to stop ranting when I am told I sound more like a girl. Fact check: I am a girl. Super-twist: I never want to sound like one. Reason: No, that’s not an insult. Further explanation: Stop pissing me off, will you? I am a perfect mix of the best of the girl and the boy traits (with the former dominating a bit. A BIT.) No matter what, messy room is not acceptable. No, I don't want to see it all over again. Wait! I would not be able to see you otherwise. I love Skype. Rant Over.

Backatcha!

  

CB: Chuck Bullshit!

I am sure you all must have seen this entire, front-page advertisement in a famous national daily and like me, you all must have been surprised to see the hype being created around a book. Chetan Bhagat; I should have guessed who could possibly be behind the whole campaign. This guy has reached a position in the industry, both publishing and cinema, where his words are considered worthy by financers to bet on.

I was able to digest, well almost, the fact that an author who has got nothing great to offer to the Indian literature has become the torch-bearer, a representative of the same. I am, suddenly, reminded of Honey Singh who proudly blabs out in his latest song that he would soon bring a Grammy home. Well, dreaming big bears no taxes or hidden charges, but all of us know what would the standard of the India music industrys be if he’s finally able to get one. Please chew and spit out the clichéd theory that Indian youth “wants” to hear to that kind of music. NO. Indian youth is being tortured to death by forcibly making them listen to these songs no matter where they go, be it clubs, bars, weddings, family functions or on any music channel, for that matter. It seems as if we are gagged by someone else’s choices.

Precisely, the same stands true for Chetan Bhagat. The fact that India Today’s Chief Editor, Arun Purie, had to write an article and explain WHY on earth he chose CB as his cover model for the August edition implies his feeling of guilt of having done something nobody expects of him – giving a revered space to someone who just doesn’t deserve. (India Today Editor-in-Chief Aroon Purie on Chetan Bhagat's forthcoming work of fiction)  

One Night @ the Call Centre, The 3 Mistakes of My Life, Five Point Someone, 2 States – I never found substance in any of his work and, now, his latest stint as a scriptwriter in the movie, Kick, has cooked up nothing but rotten Briyani this Eid for all the Salman Khan fans. Touted as the representative of Indian youth, a leader, a motivational speaker, Chetan Bhagat is trying to grab all possible accolades which could reserve him some space in media columns and TV talk shows.

There’s some deliberately concealed information beneath the buzz we hear around his upcoming book, Half Girlfriend. The fact that all the media bytes, advertisements and online publicity is being handled by Flipkart on its own expense is something we never hear about. Flipkart, on its attempt to outgrow other retailers like Amazon, Google or Kobo, is trying his hands at these marketing stunts. Further, the initial print run of the book is speculated to be two millions – a whopping number in a world where a print run of 5,000 grants the status of ‘bestseller’ to a book and where piracy comes as easy as poop.

I am sure his latest book would already have been bid for as a movie script by numerous prominent directors but all the avid readers know that whatever Chetan Bhagat writes is not only difficult to relate to, but also is tasteless, bitter tablet of BS served to someone who is out to savor the best delicacies being offered in publishing. It is surely not something readers die waiting for, contrary to popular belief. Chetan Bhagat is clearly not for someone who’s seen classic literature, exactly like Honey Singh is NOT for someone who knows what music is all about. Yet these guys are scoring big(!) – probably, it is high time for us to check our facts and boycott what media forcibly tries to dunk shot down our gorges.

Brain Processing (begin: snail-pace): Stop. Wait. Read blurb. Analyze if it’s really useful. Check reviews. Read Preface. Double-check if it sounds sense. Lastly, the author – does he/she talk sense when eyeballs try to pass him through. Still, you’re motivated to read? Congratulations! You’ve found your next read. 

Brain Processing (auto-mode: jet speed): Reading commences.  

Accidental Geek

I was one of the kinds who find solace in their li'l ignorant world, free of anyone poking with unheard-of concepts or terminologies, when at work. That was the time when I was an editor – a journal and a book editor. From the time I’d stepped into the shoes of an editor and owned them for about 8 months, I’d started finding warmth in the cozy editor skin, until when, something happened which clicked and changed my life, forever. 

 I guess it was the somewhat heavier paycheque, which cost me my favorite pelt. Two words, "New" and "Media" before my old profile, one switch and here I am, an accidental geek.


Call it a boon in disguise or a curse in veil, my new profile doesn’t let me breathe in an unwitting shell. With the clock running fast to strike 6:00 in the evening, I am the one panting heavily asking for some more time to complete my day’s job while others gawk in awe.


The fact that I-will-learn-and-then-do-it attitude has made me start from a scratch in order to get a tighter hold of my chair. Keeping an eagle eye on technology forums, I’ve to constantly hone myself to safely handle the weird questions of my colleagues who think a new media editor is a person from terra incognita who can safely combat a NASA scientist’s or a Google programming head’s doubts.


Fight and make your way out, I once heard some one in some action movie say. Though weird, I can so relate myself with the adolescent in the movie gearing up for his some future fight. My each day, without even a single soupcon of spice, resembles his, the only difference being the fact that I don’t have to stress my body with 100 abdomen crunches to start my day. :)


So here I am, conforming myself in the said atmosphere, making my way out of technically weird situations and calling myself an accidental geek! :)