My first Varalakshmi Vratham

My story is one perfect example of amalgamation of two cultures, one from cosmopolitan Punjab and the other from traditional Andhra. Going by my instincts or love or spirit to marry my beau had gotten me into a new land of a new language, new cultures, new traditions and new ways of leading life. Needless to say, it has been an enriching experience which I would have deeply missed had I gotten hitched in my own community. I always had hots for South Indian guys and since college, I was pretty sure I am going to fall for one from the foreign land and no wonder, the fate!

So, now, I am a semi-Andhraiite, still trying to get my tongue twist on the tunes of Telugu words and training my taste buds for spicy, Andhra food. But the best part about this cross-cultural union is that I get to celebrate the bests of the festivals from the North as well as from the South. We had God’s grace shining on us, so we could celebrate my first Rakhi and get all the love from my family. A day before, I got to celebrate my first Varalakshmi Vratham and this experience was both divine as well as overwhelming for both of us.

Since I do not have any elder’s guidance on how things should be, I had to bank on my cousin sisters-in-law, Kanthi and Pallavi and one great bhabhi (vadina, as they say in Telugu), Rani. These guys helped me great deal to understand the festival and the values hidden in it and perform the pooja according to the rituals. The best anchor, my husband was always next to me to lead the way but yes, he never forced anything upon me, neither if I should fast nor if I should perform the pooja. It was my interest and excitement which he fueled further .

So, I had my new sarees in place, gold purchased (kasu) in place, a thoroughly cleaned and decorated mandir in place and all the raw ingredients required to prepare the prasadam the next morning right in place. One best aspect of participating in South Indian festivals is you get to purchase plenty of new clothes and jewelry all the time! Anyway, the next morning, I got up at 5:30 in the morning, took a shower, draped my new saree and set out to my kitchen to prepare the five dishes I had plan to cook. I must say I not only surprised myself but also my best friend and my husband who couldn’t believe I could do all this in one go.

I prepared the following – carrot kheer, lemon rice, rava kesari, Pongal and daddhojanam. By 9, I was all prepared and set for the pooja. This vratham is not exactly a tiring one, as you get to eat right after you perform the pooja. We performed our pooja at 11:40 in the morning and had food right after that. This pooja experience was calming and, also, brought us closer as a couple – we recited all the mantras in Sanskrit together and sung the Arti, too. Singing ‘Lakshmi Raave Maa Intiki’, I, not even once, felt like an outsider. For the first experience, this one was truly outstanding! The craze to wear a new saree, to eat all these tasty dishes, to wear new jewelry and, of course, to do things right was all the driving force behind, but by grace of Maa Lakshmi, I had the best first Varalakshmi Vratham ever!

Daddhojanam or Curd Rice

Lemon Rice

Carrot Kheer

Rava Kesari/Halwa

Pongal

That One Lady in the House

The pains, the cures, the worthies, the vains,

The master effects of acceptances and blames,

The stories, the truth, the untold lies,  

The excitements, the fears, the stomach full of butterflies,

The lasts, the firsts, the middles that come and leave,

The successes, the failures, the laughter and the grief,

The secrets buried, the facts never unveiled,

How does she know, my every emotion being trailed,

No less than a word, never more than an emotion,

She silently watches as if perceiving every commotion

This lady in my house, that one lady in everyone’s house,

Taps the pulse of the walls and the people living within,

The no-nonsense life, the let-me-know-when-you-need-me vibe,

The love which never falls less, the love to jibe,

She must be supernatural, for no one, I believe, could look through soul,

She is the head, she’s the mother, she’s one enough for the family, the whole.

10 Days without You

I, ashamedly, admit that I have zero experience in running a home, like a perfect house manager. Yes, I am married, yet, I'm, circumstantially, in an internship phase. My husband lived in a country abroad for good six months and he’s back now and how! The update is that my honeymoon phase is going to be over soon and I am to start living with him, running a house – like a boss.

My parents set the arena for a nice practice game for me, when they left for a lovely, but long (ten days!) trip together. My KRA was to babysit two babies in their late twenties – one my brother and the other has to be my husband. Shit got deeper when my brother joined a new office, where he was supposed to report at 8:30 in the morning, right when I used to yawn wide in my dreams. Trouble started when all eyeballs starkly pointed at me, like a digital compass very sure where to set itself, for making everyone comfortable all through the void.

I was always scared of being unable of holding up everyone’s expectations. I could never imagine myself getting up at 6 in the morning, having slept at 2 in the night, to cook for the breakfasts and the lunches. I have never in my life bothered to make things look shinier just so somebody was turning up at home – you can say I have been spoilt to the brim, but that’s how I have been brought up – and I am sure many other babied dolls would swear of the same situation as mine.

Superseding my own expectations of myself, I sailed through and I would say, I was fairly good! Thanks to Google, cooking never seemed a daunting task, and the thought that my brother would have to leave home starving compelled me to get up and cook. Fortunately, the two overgrown babies, too, behaved themselves and showered all their concerns and love. I can say that is what kept the motivation flowing right through me. I was, in all possible manners, trying to emulate my mom, recalling everything she did, right from storing the leftovers to cleaning the washrooms to effectively balancing her work life.

Never did I realize that though she never sat me down to teach me things, she silently made me pick up all her habits. Her being around, carrying herself just being her, was an inspiration enough to steal a glance and check what’s keeping her busy. The zeal of starting a task, even if cooking, was infectious enough to grab everyone’s attention at home.

Things were right there on the subconscious level, just they were dug up and pulled out now. I am glad I managed to run the show and keep everyone entertained for the ten days they weren’t here – though inside, I was striking dates off waiting for their return. Life all this while has, undoubtedly, moved at snail pace, yet the feeling of having accomplished an elephantine task lifts me two feet above the ground. When they were back, I seemed to, in my mind, hand things over to her as a mother-in-law does to her newly wed daughter-in-law; I wished to thank her for teaching me the ways of life, but something inside pulled me back – I am sure she would have said her aura needed to be thanked.

The Aura of the Airport

This is one first-hand experience, ‘another first’ this year, of seeing someone off at the airport. I have always been on the other side of the story, happily bidding adieu, boarding the flights while looking forward to my journeys. During all these farewell cheers, I could never understand why my parents used to shed tears, for a dimwit like me had never felt that heart-wrenching sentiment of biding au revoir and returning home with a feeling of having left something at the airport.

This time it was my brother who decided to take his career to a new level, stepping out of his comfort zone, punching hard the challenge, right on its nose. And there, a new experience set its first foot in my life. The aura there, it just gets into your nerves, slowly reaching each limb, weakening them from within, making them anorexic that you just go weak and cannot help but cry.

I stood there, noticing the scenario around and here, I've tried jotting down the snippets of the things I can, now, only sum up to call it all a ‘feeling’. I saw parents hugging their kids tight, with tears in their eyes, though waving their hands, still unable to say goodbye; fathers clutching mothers’ hands and holding them while they walked out of the parking spaces; spouses leaving and the partners who got to stay not able to bid adieu with a smile (I also saw a couple or two cuddling, which, apparently, made my heart grow fonder and brought along an 'aww' monent); a few grandmothers who were checking from a never-ending checklist the things their kids, who were leaving, should do when they land and the things they should never do when they land; friends exchanging hugs and high-fives — uncounted prayers, well-wishes, hugs, kisses, talks - sad and happy - all enclosed in oodles of LOVE. You don’t feel the world is going to come to an end, you want to forget about wars, you don’t want to remember all those who have been hostile to you, not helped, never cared… you only want to remember this moment, the feeling, the thoughts, what you should say, what you shouldn't, the prayers and the best wishes. The only thing that makes one cry is the aura of the airport, which makes LOVE flow along!

I remember this dialog, which actually made me skip a beat when I'd heard it for the first time, from the movie, Love Actually:

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

I concede that I shed a few tears when I was seeing my brother off, but I cried my guts out during my travel back home – this experience possibly drew me closer to him, way more closer than I’d ever thought I’d ever be. I think the distance does that to you, the AURA does that to you!