An Attitude of Gratitude

Here are some of my happy realizations, which make me want to give my life a bunny hug.

1. Living in the real skin

This incidence happened while I was preparing to head back to my home having taken steam bath in my fitness center. I bumped into this maid who was cleaning the washroom. Looking at my choorha and having concluded that I was recently married, she asked me if I was living at my in-laws’ place. Giving in to her curiousness, I answered affirmatively. I can’t really articulate the astonishment I saw on her face; I am too sure gravity had no role to play in making her jaw drop to the floor! She, very skeptically, re-asked me if they (my in-laws) do not object my wearing shorts despite my marital status. After seeing my what-is-this-nonsense look, she went ahead to explain to me the reason behind her bizarre reaction - back from where she came, she was not even allowed to let her scarf budge from her head to show off her hair. I got the gist and thanked God my ‘usual’ life lets me wear whatever I get my mind on. 

2. Technology, the savior

This was way back in time when I had begun working for Kobo, Inc. Since I worked from home, all my work was dependent on this black box I am fiddling with right now – my laptop. I remember the reaction on my maid’s face the first time she saw me and my boss video-chatting. She was all drenched in bewilderment seeing how I could see a person sitting millions of ‘houses’ away from me. Actually, she could not grasp how I could talk to a person AND see him on a ‘box’. I remember her telling me how many problems she faced while connecting to her mother back in her hometown, Nepal – financial being the first. I had to look at the sky and pass a flying kiss. 

3. Decision making

This doesn’t come easy to an ‘Indian’ married girl. All her decisions, big or small, financial or otherwise, relating to herself or her family, do not opt for an easy path to go her way. They demand an intervention at all levels, starting from her husband, to his family to the neighbors to everyone else but her. Finally, she consumes a broth everyone's but her mind has cooked. No wonder, Christ had me at the first alphabet of his name (it’s the same as my)!

4. Compliments from strangers

This one elates me to the core! During my internship there, I was waiting at the reception of All India Radio, holding a bouquet, for my aunt who had her birthday that day. I remember this beautiful lady, who passed by me, turned around, came back to me and said while lowering herself to my ears, ‘you're a flower holding a bouquet’! For once, I could not believe my ears - that was the best compliment anyone had ever given me. I could not help but smile that entire day and, worst still, almost everyone who knows me has listened to this incident more than once. Following that, there have been many from people like my gym trainers, kids playing around, my cousins, my friends and the family but it's the ones I have received from strangers that entered my mind and never really left.

5. The finest of the lows and the finest of the highs

Been there, done that. I have rode the wavelength of life, had my best smiles with tears and my worst tears with smiles at my crests and at my troughs. All in all, it has been a wonderful roller-coaster ride and it has always been about moving ahead, in the right direction. The best reason to look forward to life is that the best of it is ‘yet to come’!

6. Good food, good workout and good vibes

This feeling of being surrounded by exactly the people you have ever wanted to be with, the no-nonsense thoughts, the art of controlling the senses, love and prayers – this realization of how the best things in life don’t cost a dime is, surely, priceless.

7. Great books by my pillow

How could I not realize the immense power these little lumps of pages have before! Now that I have, I am not going to let this habit go till I am breathing. 

8. Chase them dreams

The feeling that marriage should set oneself free is contrary to what we are taught our entire spinster life. We've only got one life to dream big and fight for them!

9. The night outs!

Not that I was handcuffed when in home or there was curfew outside that I could not step out, but you know when you have doting parents back home who are curious to know what goes on in your life, it IS tough to go out on dates. The worst restriction on me was no night outs. Things seem to have changed now that I am hitched – we party all night, watch late night movies, dine late and never look at the watch while we're havin' fun. 

10. My blog

This crucial part of my life has not only brought me closer to some of the most wonderful intellectuals I would not have ever been able to meet otherwise, but also has made me embrace solitude like a warrior. Nothing really makes my day mighty fine more than writing and publishing a post and, further, reading the comments my readers leave on my blog - pure bliss! 

Lastly, love, love, love - parents, siblings, elders, colleagues, kiddos, acquaintances - it's raining everywhere and I feel it on my skin. As they say, good vibes are extremely contagious, I feel them sinking in :)

Book Review: Total Fitness

My rating: ●●●○○

Leena Mogre

Total Fitness
Delhi: Ebury Press, Random House India, 2015
192pp. ₹250
9788184004366

 

Summary: It is, indeed, raining fitness books out there in Indian publishing and, thus, coming to light are the names of the celebrity fitness instructors we had little known of before. Be it Rujuta Diwekar, who had set the trend, Deanna Pandey, Payal Gidwani Tiwari, Abhishek Sharma or, this time, Leena Mogre, all of them, in an attempt to commercialize themselves as brands, are taking assistance of literature to reach out to the masses and by letting out a mere percentage of what they know, are securing a lot more footfalls to their fitness studios of the people who are curious to know the rest.

My take: There’s a quote, which I read in a famous non-fiction book, Zero to One by Peter Thiel, echoing in my mind while I begin my detailed analysis of this book:

It's easier to copy a model than to make something new: doing what we already know how to do takes the world from 1 to n, adding more of something familiar. Every new creation goes from 0 to 1.

Sadly, the author has merely followed the footsteps of the aforementioned authors, letting out no new information, which could have been groundbreaking in the world of fitness. While the title of the book, Total Fitness, might appeal to quite a few who would want to know their bodies and being better, the content would fail to keep them hooked.

Every fitness instructor-turned-author comes armed with a solid introduction, foreword or endorsement letter from big celebrities we admire looking at, like Kareena Kapoor, Katrina Kaif, Jacqueline Fernandez or Shilpa Shetty, to make him sound more credible while he lets out all that gyan about fitness in the book. Leena has chosen Madhuri Dixit to do the needful. A brief TOC of the book gives a sneak peek into the topics discussed later, like myths about fitness, fad diets, managing lifestyles, exploring one’s true potential, starting out in the world of fitness, working out to his fitness, with the last, the “Leena Mogre” way concluding it all.

The author has been so selective in letting out the information regarding any topic she has taken up, like belly dancing, kickboxing, functional training, circuit training, etc., that you are left unsatiated by the end, wanting to know more. In fact, most of her views on things sound more clichéd and extremely basic. I assume anyone who would pick this book would, at least, want to know what total fitness is all about. Here, you would end up getting a feeling of browsing through an endorsement catalog of some famous chain of gyms – Leen Mogre in this case.

The author has opted for a rather formal way of communicating to her readers, precisely resembling a serious monologue from a teacher to a student. To be honest, I failed to establish a connection with the author, a connection which would have made me itch to know more about her and look for her on Instagram or FB J. I think a more relaxed, informal mode of writing suits this genre of books better, as it takes the intended audience by hand and forces them to walk along till the last page.

My favorite part of the book was the last section, where she has discussed the common problems her clients come to her with. She has recommended some very good solutions, including the diet they should be following, to those clients. That was, in fact, my takeaway from the book – the diet pattern one should follow under varied circumstances.

Final word: While this book might come handy to someone who is just setting out in the world of fitness, it might not be of much use to someone who has read all the previously mentioned authors before or to someone who categorizes himself as at least an amateur fitness freak.    

Unexpected Perks of Being Married to an Entrepreneur

Having recently been married to an entrepreneur, I am coming to terms with a lot of serious behavioral revelations, which are, rightly, taking their own sweet time to sink in. The best part about my life right now is that these shocks are being accompanied by loads of pleasant surprises which would seldom have found their way in to my life had I been married to a nine-to-five employee. I would love to quote something I read while randomly surfing the Internet and loved to the core:

Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t. 

Considering the startup environment in India today, I am sure many a girls would be sailing in the same boat as I. Hola to all those! Now that we have all decided that we will help our man build his dream empire, let us all embrace the struggle which is a sure thing bound to accompany us during our journey. 

And now that you have sneaked a few moments to read this post, let us quickly jump to reading about my array of experiences, which I am sure a lot of you will relate to and laugh at, thinking how being wives to these crazy techies has made us all a lot more patient and tolerant :)

1. He stays humble and isn’t much of a nag

This lot does not like to complain. Though, he has his own, small wishes, which do not cross a certain self-assumed limit, he would never nag you about your errors, forgetfulness, attitude or style of working. Instead, he would take a rather noiseless way of solving problems and getting things done his way. 

2. He is a multitasker

He knows the value of getting tasks done on time and, in the process, he would himself take up a lot of tasks he deems as doable. This applies at home, too. Don’t be surprised if he makes the bed, washes the dishes, brings home the groceries or takes care of you – he’s acquired this habit of multitasking, which was totally a prerequisite for being an entrepreneur. 

3. He believes in teamwork

Surprise! He’s not the conventional husband you have ever heard about. He believes in getting work done, giving the work the utmost priority. If eating food on time is one of his priorities, I bet he will be working in kitchen with you, getting the pending tasks completed instead of being a couch potato and showing you the watch. 

4. He gets work done exactly his way in the most conducive manner

He knows it’s a startup that he runs and the team, too, is getting accustomed to the environment. He realizes how important it is for everyone to be happy and positive about the work at hand and, thus, he knows how to correct everyone’s (and your!) mistakes in the most pleasing manner. At times, you wouldn’t even get to know that after all that time you spent sweating in the kitchen preparing chicken curry, he would give you a nice recipe for the next attempt you make at it. 

5. Everyone knows him; he’s everybody’s favorite

With time, you realize everyone knows you and you would not be able to find a reason why unless, of course, your husband would tell you that they are all his acquaintances. Thanks to his wonderful PR skills, he is friends with almost everyone he meets and his contacts list would have new numbers flashing every day.

6. He foresees a business opportunity in almost all the circumstances he comes across

Don’t be surprised if he starts building castle in Spain about setting up an automated, man-less, credit-based, online veggie store, which would have the peasants who are selling their products present on the live chat, while you are still bargaining with the vegetable vendor for giving off five rupees on the entire bill amount. 

7. He already knows the freshest piece of news you might have

Blame it on his habit of being acquainted with the burning trends and topics, he would always be abreast with any freshest piece of news you might have to discuss with him, unless, of course, it is about his grandparents, to which he will show an alien face reflecting zero instigated interest.

8. He’s extremely judgmental about almost everything on Earth

He bears an opinion, which you have to agree, makes sense almost all the times. So, if he explains to you why the move of Myntra to go app-only was the most unwise one, you would want to take up a notepad and jot down all that what he’s casually blabbing about.

9. He would, most definitely, put you to some use for his work

Be it social media optimization, social media management, content writing, content management, handling finances, maintaining inventories, trimming Excels or administrative tasks, he would, certainly, put some of your skills to use for his work. Charity begins at home, after all, and the fact that you love him is a tool that would come handy to him almost all the time! 

10. He totally appreciates that you earn

Unlike many other men, who get their egos inflated to the brim when they see their female spouses earning/spending more, the entrepreneurial husbands would appreciate you earning and would, if it’s a startup, handover the responsibility of running the house on you, the way you wish to. One thing that's a dead cert is he'll always be thankful to you, the most, for believing in him :)

10 Days without You

I, ashamedly, admit that I have zero experience in running a home, like a perfect house manager. Yes, I am married, yet, I'm, circumstantially, in an internship phase. My husband lived in a country abroad for good six months and he’s back now and how! The update is that my honeymoon phase is going to be over soon and I am to start living with him, running a house – like a boss.

My parents set the arena for a nice practice game for me, when they left for a lovely, but long (ten days!) trip together. My KRA was to babysit two babies in their late twenties – one my brother and the other has to be my husband. Shit got deeper when my brother joined a new office, where he was supposed to report at 8:30 in the morning, right when I used to yawn wide in my dreams. Trouble started when all eyeballs starkly pointed at me, like a digital compass very sure where to set itself, for making everyone comfortable all through the void.

I was always scared of being unable of holding up everyone’s expectations. I could never imagine myself getting up at 6 in the morning, having slept at 2 in the night, to cook for the breakfasts and the lunches. I have never in my life bothered to make things look shinier just so somebody was turning up at home – you can say I have been spoilt to the brim, but that’s how I have been brought up – and I am sure many other babied dolls would swear of the same situation as mine.

Superseding my own expectations of myself, I sailed through and I would say, I was fairly good! Thanks to Google, cooking never seemed a daunting task, and the thought that my brother would have to leave home starving compelled me to get up and cook. Fortunately, the two overgrown babies, too, behaved themselves and showered all their concerns and love. I can say that is what kept the motivation flowing right through me. I was, in all possible manners, trying to emulate my mom, recalling everything she did, right from storing the leftovers to cleaning the washrooms to effectively balancing her work life.

Never did I realize that though she never sat me down to teach me things, she silently made me pick up all her habits. Her being around, carrying herself just being her, was an inspiration enough to steal a glance and check what’s keeping her busy. The zeal of starting a task, even if cooking, was infectious enough to grab everyone’s attention at home.

Things were right there on the subconscious level, just they were dug up and pulled out now. I am glad I managed to run the show and keep everyone entertained for the ten days they weren’t here – though inside, I was striking dates off waiting for their return. Life all this while has, undoubtedly, moved at snail pace, yet the feeling of having accomplished an elephantine task lifts me two feet above the ground. When they were back, I seemed to, in my mind, hand things over to her as a mother-in-law does to her newly wed daughter-in-law; I wished to thank her for teaching me the ways of life, but something inside pulled me back – I am sure she would have said her aura needed to be thanked.

Book Review: Dear Mrs. Naidu

My rating: ●●●●●

Mathangi Subramanian

Dear Mrs. Naidu

Delhi: Young Zubaan, Zubaan Books, 2015

131pp. ₹235

9789384757175

One of the few books which make you smile when you finish them reading, letting you drive home a ‘literary orgasm’, a sense of completion, a sense of achievement, a sense of "your mind and your heart growing”. 

For an author who is writing a book for the first time, I must say this is a job well done. A work of fiction, the book still discusses the issues which are real and quite prominent in India. These are a series of connected letters written by a twelve-year old to her idol, a famous freedom fighter, Mrs. Sarojini Naidu. The series of writing to one’s idol starts as a part of her class assignment, but eventually becomes a habit of the protagonist, (also) Sarojini.

The book begins with a powerful prose from one of Naidu’s poems, which, all through the book, gives immense inspiration to the protagonist to fight for her Right to Education (RTE). All through her this fight to make her school a ‘good’ school, compliant with RTE, Sarojini relates her struggle with Mrs. Naidu’s fight for independence.

Do not think yourselves as small girls.

You are the powerful Durgas in disguise.

You shall sing the Nationalist songs wherever you go.

You shall cut the chain of bondage. And free your country.

Forget about the earth. You shall move the skies.

Halfway through her struggle, Sarojini, having deeply bogged down by the challenges, writes an equally powerful reply to Mrs. Naidu’s above-mentioned lines.

When there’s so many people and possibilities dragging you down, Mrs. Naidu, it’s hard to feel like Durga in disguise.

How do you forget the earth when it’s always beneath your feet? And when no one wants to help you, how do you move the skies.

However, the book concludes with a happy ending, spreading a lot of positivity around. The book not only enlightens the reader with a lot of information about something as basic as RTE but also proves to be an important source of information, inspiration, motivation and, most of all, gradual progression. There is a contact list of various NGOs, which religiously work for child rights, included at the end of the book, which should come handy to all of us. The language of the book while being simple, is extremely pulling and engaging and compels you to read till the end in one stretch. I would surely want to overlook a lot of grammatical mistakes I found in the content, for they did not turn out to be a major turn off for me. My take-home lesson from the book would be the protagonist mentioning Mrs. Naidu’s reply A chacun son infini (to each her own infinity) to a famous French saying, A chacun son destin (to each her own destiny)!

Book Review: Something Happened on the Way to Heaven

My rating: ●●○○○

I am happy to have received a fresh read from the author I always appreciate reading. Not only as an author, but also as a human being, Sudha Murty gives her reader several reasons to never stop loving her.

Talking about the book, the title really intrigues the reader, instigating a sense of suspense. I believe it should pose as one big driving force towards the purchase of the book, for it is also a famous song by Phil Collins. At first, the title appears to cover a mythological fiction, but actually turns out to be a self-help, covering a string of memoirs.

Moving on to the Preface, as soon as I turned to it, I was rather disappointed to learn that Sudha Murty has not written any of the stories contained in the book but has hand-picked and edited them. For her fans who read and appreciate her writings, it should come across as a tough bet to bank on some complete strangers’ writings.

Extremely basic, the TOC fails to make an instant impact on someone who’s randomly flipping through the pages. The headings of the stories are nowhere close to lucrative and say nothing in support of the title of the book.

This work of non-fiction contains a string of twenty memoirs of people we do not know and who think they have got something worthy to share with everyone. The editor wants to bring forth some classic cases of inspiration to the readers, to set their pulse right in a direction unexplored. Sudha Murty has famously indulged in sharing her inspiring anecdotes with her readers and this time, for a change, has given the command to her readers and has herself become a listener instead.

All the stories follow a very simple and formal way of writing, which I think well-suited the intended audience. Speaking about the language, you would not find superlative degree of literature put to use nor would you find the content engaging after having sailed through half of the book.

The selection of the stories are nice, and seem to be doing their job right in sending out motivational messages to the readers. While one of them, like Acceptance, opens up new doors of possibilities in the way we lead our lives and how we could change our outlook for good, the rest are extremely clichéd and send out no new, breakthrough lessons to the readers.

I am sure you would appreciate this book if you love Sudha Murty, if you love extremely simple and quick reads and if it doesn’t matter to you who writes as long as it is worthy. But having completed the book once, I am sure you would not want to re-read the same content, for it will all appear stale.