One year, countless memories!

This day, last year, we took the plunge to start living together, giving shape to our dreams. Reaching here, to this decision, settling in India and choosing to tread on the path which could prove to be extremely tough wasn’t taken in a day; it took us months and to me, it all seemed like an era.

I always tell my girlfriends it never seems to me that I live with my husband; the time we are spending now seems a mere extension to our dating time, when, of course, we were not staying together. It’s been a fun one year which has taught many life lessons I could possibly write a book about but, for now, let us do with a blog.

1. No expectations = life full of surprises. Pretty much. I never expected him to cook or wake up early and make me tea or take extra care of me when I am not well. He did, and I pretended to take all that like a breeze!
2. Friendship > marriage. Well, this dates back to the time from where it all started – it all started with friendship. So, we decided to retain the flavor and not adulterate with expectations marriage might hold from a couple.
3. You + Me = We. A massive change. Yes, it is a couple taking decisions now in almost all the spheres. For the first time in my life, I have been putting my view in taking big decisions and enjoying the discussions happening before the consensus is settled.
4. Marriage ≠ proving to each other. Accepting the other person the way he is, his way of living and thinking, habits, culture from where he comes all clubs into a package home-delivered to you, all wrapped in a gift paper. Living together would give way to whole lot of revelations which should just be taken as a milestone in knowing in each other and crossed happily.
5. Love = being comfortable. That pretty much is the crux. One year is a long enough time to understand each other rather clearly and be able to breathe superfine in each other’s company. When there’s nothing to prove to the other person, you learn to live just the way you are.
6. Marriage ≠ growing up: Yes! Be as crazy as you have always been and never let go of the things which actually bring pleasure to you. Though you have decided to grow old together but this sense of satisfaction of being with the right person might actually reverse age for you! Do not ever think of succumbing to societal pressures just because you’re growing old. I’ve been thinking of taking life one second at a time and, trust me, it makes me feel real light.
7. Best times = sitting and talking: Just this. I trust in you and you trust in me. That should end the story well.
8. Feelings ≠ words. When you live together with your husband and the feeling of being married starts sinking in, you realize that love is much more than words could ever define. It engulfs your relation, keeping it warm and giving you enough space for growth. You know no words could ever tell him how you feel and this feeling is so contagious that each other's mere presence would leave no space for words. You realize loving each other becomes as a habit as breathing.
9. Clashes ≠ serious fuckups: It’s perfect to fight like pigs and come together later in the day because you need someone to talk to. It would always be your decision what you would want to prioritize at any given point – person, relation, matter or your ego. After all, any stupid decision taken in haste would not mean end of all the problems, but starting of a new set of problems.
10. Success = being happy: This is my final word to sum up my one year this day. Love is being happy because you’ve been blessed to live the life of your dreams, to see things falling into place, to feel god’s blessings in all spheres of life and because you have so much to thank god for and even more to look forward to!

To the sheer happiness that spreads when we're together!

So Much So

What’s the most tragic, disheartening, striking and yet the most satisfying sibling-feeling you’ll ever get? It’s, probably, losing them to a life partner they would eventually spend their lives with. For all the time you might have spent together, you might not have cared a bit and might have also taken their presence tad too casually, but it is at this point in life that you want to shed your outer, worldly self, to bare your naked soul to them, showing that you have always been that ‘first’ next to them. It is this, weirdly-emotional, crazy-yet-sorted phase that I am going through right now!

So, the grand news that it is the time for us, the family members to push my brother into a brand new life of ‘husbandship’ and see him transition through a fun boyhood to an even merrier manhood, all laughing through his learning phase. While we shall remain on the shore bidding him happiness, he shall embark on a fresh new sailing, in a direction unexplored, to a more-fulfilling life. Well, this had to happen one day, so, now.
*tears of happiness*.

Having spent around two and a half decades with my brother, living closely and sharing all the fabrics of life with him, I can say our companionship has really seen a lot. All through the journey, I would have come across zillions of shades of my brother, some funny, other grim, some possessive, while others I-don’t-give-a-damn, some rather secretive and others open-to-all, some very loving and others close to breaking a bone, some really supporting and others contradicting, a few caring publicly and a lot more caring very secretly – I have grown as a sister all this while, seeing him change, grow up to be a better human being.

From the time I remember I know him to the time he cried for me on phone just after a day after my marriage to now, when I miss him even more because of the distance, of course, every day carries equal substance in the pages of my memories. I can say I have spent some of the best and the most memorable moments of my life with this champ. In fact, our journey in life has been a lot familiar. Right from studying in the school together, crossing teenage to experiencing a new phase, called college, to further getting placed and earning money, we have tasted these struggles almost at the same time.

I so feel both of our lives are so interconnected and strongly influenced by each other’s that we both would, now, get married to spouses with a similar initial, “H”! What a great, darn coincidence!

Finally, a note to the protagonist here: I wish you be as good a companion as you’ve been a big brother! Congratulations for entering a new phase of life and thanks for getting us all a nice sister-in-law! I really hope we have zillions of times like these in store ahead!

*Love*

The bottom rung

I once stumbled upon something that has never really left my mind; something which goes like, ‘never feel shy of catching hold of the bottom rung’. I never knew how something I read casually made a permanent home in my subconscious mind. Surprisingly, when I look back on whatever life I have lived till date, I realize I have pretty much followed the formula, knowingly or unknowingly.

I sense what most people escape from doing, after they have lived a certain sort of a lifestyle, is getting back to the basics. It requires true humane in you to first, remember where you have come from, and second, to acknowledge that it was not all that bad.

When everyone dreams of being catapulted to the top, there is still a category of people which is the most talked about and respected all over. These are the ones who did not shy away from taking the first step, the most difficult one, the most daring – the beginning. This lot preferred to be friends with the bottom rung, which could lead them to the top. The mantra all through the journey was to ‘keep upgrading’. From crawling to flying, they closely knew the sorts of obstacles they have fought and the ones they have befriended.

There must be some who would loathe, or rather fear humble beginnings and, then, there is this category which loves taking challenges and starting from scratch, digging the ground to finally unleash the gold. They are the ones who believe, dream, push themselves and make their way along the offbeat paths and they are the ones who compel the universe to conspire for their success.

The idea was to cut the coat according to the cloth, not fearing how one would appear to others, and then to keep on upgrading. This way, the present needs were sufficed and the ones ahead were kept in perspective. I have seen friends fighting really hard with the EMIs which they had to pay for the things they bought just to keep up with the general standards. 

On the other hand, we see big entrepreneurs who do not mind staying in small houses, eating whatever comes their way and concentrating all their energies on their goals. They knew that this bottom rung of ‘beginning’ is what would change their lives for better and it did! This rung proved to be mighty powerful, indeed.

Catching hold of the bottom rung, I find myself, too, moving up the ladder at my own pace. Having recently upgraded from a studio to a way bigger house, I feel befriending the bottom rung was a good decision I made. These days, I prefer going for a small version of anything first, gradually moving my way to the above. This mantra has, in a way, become an epitome of positivity for me, a beam of hope saying there are better days waiting just around the corner!

This post has been chosen as the Spicy Saturday Pick by Blogadda

Such Perfection

I am unsure how many of you would be able to relate with this anecdote, but I assume you all will be able to have a different perspective on things happening around after reading this, a perspective reading blesses you with.

It was the time every girl eagerly waits for, the time when advices on how one should be keep flowing from all over yet all you can see is a bright light at the end of the tunnel – a light promising a glorious future enlightened at core by lots of love; the time in a girl’s life when she does away with the skin she’s been breathing in since her birth to finally have on a skin which will always be adorned by indications of her being married; the time she and her family has been preparing for since they got to know ‘it’ was a girl; the time when, for once, she will be the most important person of an event – the time for her to get married.

She has been extremely conscious all this while of her looks and her behavior. Thanks to her job which required her to work from home, she got to run for that extra mile in taking care of her mind, body and soul. All in all, she was putting her best step forward in preparing herself to look the best on the day when all everyone would be interested in knowing would be how she looked. Everything was going perfectly as per the checklist prepared, all action plans of what she should be doing 12 months, 9 months, 6 and 3 months, 10 days, 1 day and 2 hours before the wedding were put in place and were being strictly followed until that one incident which, in a flash, made her think back a story she had read in one of favorite authors’ book – Malgudi Days.

She was so sure she would look like a goddess; she had the perfect figure to walk in, her trousseau was tried and checked several times, her skin radiated a grace almost all around her couldn’t help but keep staring at and her charm was the talk of the house, when one day, two days, to be sure, before she would get hitched, she noticed her toe nail break in a manner anyone would get his eyeballs on if at all they would reach her foot. She was taken aback for she couldn’t relate any incident which could have led to this. Trying to take a meaning out of this shocker, she was, suddenly, reminded of a story she had read some time back, and for once she was bewildered how a seed planted in a fiction could actually appear as a tangible plant in her real life.

The name of the story was, Such Perfection. This story revolves around a sculptor, Soma, who after five years of tiring labor, prepares a ‘too perfect’ statue of Lord Nagaraj. Despite being told that the ‘too perfect’ chisel isn’t meant for mortals and that he should break its little toe or some other part so that it is safe enough, he asks for the handiwork to be consecrated. Unwilling to give in to the demand of the priest or the villagers, Soma decides to consecrate the chisel near his house, building a temple-like structure himself. The priest’s predictions about the ‘too-perfect’ statue being consecrated turn out to be true and the whole village is immersed in water due to heavy rains, thunderbolts and storms the same day Soma does the act. The villagers reach out to Soma asking him to act as per the priest’s instructions, yet, for his love for the chisel, he decides to go against everyone’s will and to kill himself instead. As and when he steps out of his house to do that, a tree crashes on the roof of his house, leaving the handicraft unhurt, yet breaking its little toe. The whole village accepts this as an act of God and further consecrates the now 'slightly imperfect' statue with all the rights in the village temple.

She looked ‘too-perfect’ on her D-Day but inside she knew there was a little imperfection which was balancing things off!    

The imperfect toe

The 'too perfect' bride

Unexpected Perks of Being Married to an Entrepreneur

Having recently been married to an entrepreneur, I am coming to terms with a lot of serious behavioral revelations, which are, rightly, taking their own sweet time to sink in. The best part about my life right now is that these shocks are being accompanied by loads of pleasant surprises which would seldom have found their way in to my life had I been married to a nine-to-five employee. I would love to quote something I read while randomly surfing the Internet and loved to the core:

Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t. 

Considering the startup environment in India today, I am sure many a girls would be sailing in the same boat as I. Hola to all those! Now that we have all decided that we will help our man build his dream empire, let us all embrace the struggle which is a sure thing bound to accompany us during our journey. 

And now that you have sneaked a few moments to read this post, let us quickly jump to reading about my array of experiences, which I am sure a lot of you will relate to and laugh at, thinking how being wives to these crazy techies has made us all a lot more patient and tolerant :)

1. He stays humble and isn’t much of a nag

This lot does not like to complain. Though, he has his own, small wishes, which do not cross a certain self-assumed limit, he would never nag you about your errors, forgetfulness, attitude or style of working. Instead, he would take a rather noiseless way of solving problems and getting things done his way. 

2. He is a multitasker

He knows the value of getting tasks done on time and, in the process, he would himself take up a lot of tasks he deems as doable. This applies at home, too. Don’t be surprised if he makes the bed, washes the dishes, brings home the groceries or takes care of you – he’s acquired this habit of multitasking, which was totally a prerequisite for being an entrepreneur. 

3. He believes in teamwork

Surprise! He’s not the conventional husband you have ever heard about. He believes in getting work done, giving the work the utmost priority. If eating food on time is one of his priorities, I bet he will be working in kitchen with you, getting the pending tasks completed instead of being a couch potato and showing you the watch. 

4. He gets work done exactly his way in the most conducive manner

He knows it’s a startup that he runs and the team, too, is getting accustomed to the environment. He realizes how important it is for everyone to be happy and positive about the work at hand and, thus, he knows how to correct everyone’s (and your!) mistakes in the most pleasing manner. At times, you wouldn’t even get to know that after all that time you spent sweating in the kitchen preparing chicken curry, he would give you a nice recipe for the next attempt you make at it. 

5. Everyone knows him; he’s everybody’s favorite

With time, you realize everyone knows you and you would not be able to find a reason why unless, of course, your husband would tell you that they are all his acquaintances. Thanks to his wonderful PR skills, he is friends with almost everyone he meets and his contacts list would have new numbers flashing every day.

6. He foresees a business opportunity in almost all the circumstances he comes across

Don’t be surprised if he starts building castle in Spain about setting up an automated, man-less, credit-based, online veggie store, which would have the peasants who are selling their products present on the live chat, while you are still bargaining with the vegetable vendor for giving off five rupees on the entire bill amount. 

7. He already knows the freshest piece of news you might have

Blame it on his habit of being acquainted with the burning trends and topics, he would always be abreast with any freshest piece of news you might have to discuss with him, unless, of course, it is about his grandparents, to which he will show an alien face reflecting zero instigated interest.

8. He’s extremely judgmental about almost everything on Earth

He bears an opinion, which you have to agree, makes sense almost all the times. So, if he explains to you why the move of Myntra to go app-only was the most unwise one, you would want to take up a notepad and jot down all that what he’s casually blabbing about.

9. He would, most definitely, put you to some use for his work

Be it social media optimization, social media management, content writing, content management, handling finances, maintaining inventories, trimming Excels or administrative tasks, he would, certainly, put some of your skills to use for his work. Charity begins at home, after all, and the fact that you love him is a tool that would come handy to him almost all the time! 

10. He totally appreciates that you earn

Unlike many other men, who get their egos inflated to the brim when they see their female spouses earning/spending more, the entrepreneurial husbands would appreciate you earning and would, if it’s a startup, handover the responsibility of running the house on you, the way you wish to. One thing that's a dead cert is he'll always be thankful to you, the most, for believing in him :)