Honeymoon Diaries: Part 2: Lost and Found

One day – one aim: Tirupati! We were on the very auspicious soil, but had to wait for one night to finally set off for Tirumala. Right early in the morning, we started our pilgrimage and took not more than two hours to reach the top of the hills. They allow vehicles right to the top, and walking all the way is an option many pilgrims still go for. We vowed, too, to walk the whole way the next time we will be here.

We set out unbathed from the home, considering we had to go to Kalyan Katta first. Kalyan Katta/tonsuring booths are for those who want to offer their hair to the Lord. One could also offer 10-15 strands from their head, if they don’t want to go for the complete shave. We chose the latter option.

Having participated in the auspicious task, we freshened up, changed and moved on to the Kalyan Mandapam, in Sri Venkateswara Swamy temple, to perform Kalyanotsavam. Srivari Kalyanotsavam is performed to the utsava murti of the Lord Sri Malayappa swami and his consorts Sridevi and Bhudevi in the marriage hall. The wedding ceremony is held amidst recitation of the vedic mantras and pronouncing the family pedigree of the brides and bridegroom. A purohit conducts the marriage and an archaka is consecrated to perform other rituals on behalf of the bridegroom. Only grihasthas (married couples) are allowed to perform the seva and they are given prasadams and clothes at the end of it. It was, indeed, blissful to attend God’s wedding in proper Telugu traditions. Getting overwhelmed by the puja, my husband expressed his desire to get remarried in Telugu style some time in future! J We had a Punjabi wedding, considering the fact that we didn’t face any opposition to the same from the groom’s side.

After Kalyanam, we headed for darshanam of Lord Venkateswara. Chanting ‘govinda govinda’ while still waiting for our turn, we didn’t realize when we actually entered the boss’ house! From where you stand to the actual place for darshanam, you would hardly get 3-4 seconds to have a glimpse of the God, but the visual delight is incomparable. We forgot everything, including ourselves, and entered a trance mode – experiencing complete relief and solace. This was my first visit to Tirupati and I was all charmed and satisfied with life. It was like, I was lost at the moment and, then, I found a new ME.

Lord Venkateswara's Temple

After collecting the prasad (the yummy laddoos), we bade adieu to the Lord and thanked them for the great darshanam. Thereafter, we set out for Padmavathi Ammavari Temple, some 28 km away from Lord Venkateswara’s temple. Goddess Padmavathi is the consort of the Lord and, yet, lives away from him. There’s a legend behind this, that she was angry with the Lord and decided to immerse herself in river Swarnamukhi. After thirteen years, Goddess Padmavathi emerged from a golden lotus as a reincarnation of Goddess Lakshmi. Hence, the distance. The blissful feeling we had experienced earlier, reentered us in the finest of its forms. Gleefully, we marched on to Sri Govindarajaswami Temple.

Padmavathi Ammavari Temple

Sri Govindarajaswami were the elder brother of Lord Venkateswara. This temple was right next to where we were staying, and, thus, we decided to visit it the last. There are 18 sub-temples in this temple, and we visited each. The poojas and sevas we conducted inside the temple were relaxing and extremely comforting. Despite being tired, we were able to connect with God with our fullest selves.

Sri Govindarajaswami Temple

We had a train to catch at 8:30 PM for an overnight journey to Vishakhapatnam, so we decided to munch on Hotel Bhimas’ in-house restaurant. Again, delicious food there made us munch a bit extra, pushing our usual appetite to the edge. But the food here couldn't beat Mayura's standards. We walked to the station, right next to our hotel having thanked everyone at the hotel for a wonderful treatment, and boarded the train! What happens in Vizag will tell the next addition in this series. J

Honeymoon Diaries: Part 1: Tirupati via Chennai

We have been planning this since six months and dreaming about this ever since we started seeing each other – travelling together. The first phase of our honeymoon kept us dreamy-eyed for months and now that it was happening, it was hard for both of us to contain all the excitement. TIRUPATI!

Having heard a lot of stories about the temple from him, I really wanted to visit it and experience the divinity there. It was, indeed, God’s grace that we got to visit the holy place, right after our marriage, together. I confess going there had me extremely casual about the values it holds, but coming back had me transformed 360 degrees into a girl who was bathed in colors of divinity, continually chanting – edu kondalavada venkataramana govinda goooovindaa!

One part of travelling together, or in rather preparing for it, that I thoroughly enjoyed was packing for the same. It was like two amateurs planning up for a holiday, in fear of not leaving anything at home, carry everything that they saw around – including clothes they hadn’t wore in a century! Result – we were set with four bags, which we had to unpack later in the night to declutter.

Anyway, the adventure started the next day at 4 AM, as we had an early morning flight to catch. I am sure I was living my dream, breathing in the ecstasy of boarding our first flight together - 6E 285. Having arrived at Chennai, we took a taxi, which took us to Marina beach.

(Note: I might just go crazy writing hereon. This was THE first time I saw sea in my life!)

A huge, massive body of water – water till wherever your eyes can go – water so energetic, it brings you to life – water so loud - you want to sit by it and talk to it. Boy! I loved every bit of this experience. 

Hybrid, Orange Coconuts we saw at Marina Beach; obviously, we couldn't resist tasting the nectar it contained.

That's me! :)

Moving on from here, to quench our thirst for authentic, local food, we checked out a restaurant – Sangeetha – which served us the delectable, Tamil food on a banana leaf. I could not stop licking my fingers way after we had finished munching.

Biryani with Raita at Hotel Sangeetha

This point on, we had to rush for our train from Chennai to Tirupati – our first train journey together – this entire trip had plenty of surprises to keep us entertained throughout. Having reached Tirupati at 7:30 PM, we checked in a hotel really close to the railway station – Hotel Bhimas Deluxe. A decent hotel, which was comfortable for us to spend a night and move to Tirumala the next morning. In order to use the time we had at hand to the best, my husband proposed we should go to Kanipakam Vinayaka Temple in Chittoor (some 65 odd kms away from where we were staying). 

Kanipakam Vinayaka Temple

It turned out to be the best day we could visit the temple as it was Kartik Purnima that day – a blessing-in-disguise we were unaware about. We had the best pooja and the best darshanam that day and we returned to our hotel extremely content and satisfied. And did I talk about the beauty? You have to be there to feel the aura of the place - it's magical!

The best thing which could conclude our day right was great food, which we had at Hotel Mayura. The local food buffet we had there and the kind of service we received left us feeling blessed all through. We had our taxi the next morning to Tirupati. What happened there is something I’ll share in my next blog (that’s a complete record of experiences)! Till then, I will leave my readers with the feeling an extremely tasty fruit punch ice cream leaves in your mouth - glutted yet unsatisfied! :) 

Buffet at Hotel Mayura

Ms. to Mrs.: A dream transition!

So now, the world identifies me as somebody’s wife; the feeling? It’s inexplicable. I am sure every couple, who in their dating period feels seriously for each other, dreams of this transition but seldom they are able to reach this stage. I am one of the few chosen ones who could successfully hit the goal, without facing any opposition at all.

My say on the feeling of this transition from being boyfriend-girlfriend to husband-wife is IT IS NEVER THE SAME. Dating is way different from living a whole, life-ful of relationship. Living with each other 24x7 not only gives way to serious revelations about the other person, but also opens up another chapter of love – sustenance.

The only privilege ‘pre-marriage-dating’ blesses you with is that you don’t listen to the other person as a just-brought-home cat, who doesn’t know how to act feeling a new air around. You freely meow, purr or even pounce, as if it was your own house and your own people J

The first hit I got was when I woke up, startled, seeing him sleeping on the same bed as mine! J Yes - when we got to sleep for some 3 odd hours after I reached my “new” home at 5 AM. My first-hand experience on dating, love and marriage is that friendship transcends all hardships you face as a couple and brings a lot of peace and calmness back home. So, you know, great food, romance, organized life, adjustments all take a back seat. 

I am sure preaching does not help when it comes to relationships and the only thing you would want to experience is a free-fall, being yourself, feeling an eternal calmness of having achieved a big goal in life – togetherness. So, I will not preach a word on how you should be steering a relationship to the right path (I don’t know it myself, to be true J). Let us all, newlyweds, make our honeymoon period last for a lifespan and hope that this transition from bachelorhood to marriage takes off as smoothly as a Lufthansa airplane racing on the runway to kiss the clouds. 
Here’s wishing all the best to all the couples travelling on the same boat. Bon Voyage!

#BringBackTheTouch by taking it easy

Womanhood arrives with loads of baggages – the burden to act perfect, more responsible, disciplined, well-behaved, organized, modest, pocket-conscious and to carry all the pristine qualities one would associate with a “lady”. This idea of acting “perfect” drives us away from the basics life teaches us when we are born; acting free, letting things be and prioritizing happiness over everything else. Men, as the breed is famous for, appreciates all these qualities from a distance. They would surely not want any of the side-effects of being a “lady” come an inch close to them. This clash between ‘to-be' or 'not-to-be' perfect is what gives way to the infamous gap amidst a couple.

At times, the answers to the most tough questions or challenges life imposes on us is letting things be and being a mere spectator, waiting for the time to pass. You might never know how slowing it down or taking things easy could give a fresh air to breathe not just to the other partner but also to the relationship. Bringing back the warmth in a relation or rekindling the yesteryears’ romance wouldn’t remain a challenge you could only pray your way out of.

I remember a friend getting appalled by her husband’s attitude of not talking to her when he was back from work, despite her poking him a lot about the same. The answer she found to this problem was as simple as spelling this word out. She stopped poking him whenever he was back from work and waited for him to initiate discussions. Talking at his own convenience gave her husband immense relief as he could drive the conversation as per his choice and not as per his wife’s curiosity. Things just kept getting better thence for them. She would cook food, play soothing music and scent the house with the aroma he liked. Upon his return, she would serve him with a smile and give him the time he required to get himself out of the environment he has been spending his entire day in. From this time on, I never heard her cribbing about her husband’s ignorance or his being unromantic.

That’s how she found her way back to romance and a brand new, rekindled relationship, which had a lot of love, care and breathing space for each other. That's how they could bring the touch they were missing back. Taking things easy could do wonders we never had any idea about!
  

I got inspired to write more on #BringBackTheTouch by watching this video:

To know more about the campaign, please visit: http://www.pblskin.com/ or catch the action on twitter by using the hashtag #BringBackTheTouch 

Long distance, Skype and the things which irk me the most

I have to thank technology for its whole, truckload of contribution in my life. I would not have been able to survive a long-distance relationship if it wasn’t there. I know thousands of couples continue to kindle their relationships, no matter how far their spouses would be, through whatever combustible environment technology provides them.

Back in time, when it was decided that my spouse would be moving out of the nation in search of greener pastures, I was deeply disappointed for I knew my weekends would lose their meaning – and they did. I started to look sad and ugly on weekends, too (I work from home on the five weekdays and the weekends were the only time when I, all dolled up, got to step out of the four walls I constantly stared at the rest of the days). Anyway, time swooshed by and I couldn’t even get to know when it was five months already.

For all these days, we constantly were in touch – through phone (thanks to the free international minutes VoIP blesses you with) and Skype. Yes, this latter application has impeccably bridged the distance and talking is almost like catching up over coffee. A slight difference still exists – on our coffee dates, I looked the best of me and he, well he “tried” to look good J. Now, our dates are a mirror of how we would “actually” look at home.

It’s been quite some time since we have been putting this application to serious use and, now, I have started to get irked by it. Why? Well, at times, while talking, he would pan the phone camera across his flat and I would suddenly feel like flying to his place. And you smell romance here?! Read on.

I get deeply bothered by the mess around there and feel itched to CLEAN HIS ROOM (and fly back J)! Right from the kitchen to the hall and further to the bedroom, I don’t see a place a person could possible sit on or at. Ohkay, I might be getting way too serious about the normal behavior of ‘boys’ as you say, but what do you have to say about the concept of ‘cleaning’. Cleaning home, according to him, means packing his bag – just the bag!

Meanwhile; somewhere on the planet.

Precisely, an easy out to most of the problems out there!

As I calm down, I understand there are ways people live by and it’s not necessary yours would perfectly overlap with your partner’s and I totally believe contrasts like these give way to a rainbow of colors you would not have ever noticed had life been spick-and-span like a monochrome light.

To put off the heat of the argument, he has a strategy which seems to work, almost always. I am rather compelled to stop ranting when I am told I sound more like a girl. Fact check: I am a girl. Super-twist: I never want to sound like one. Reason: No, that’s not an insult. Further explanation: Stop pissing me off, will you? I am a perfect mix of the best of the girl and the boy traits (with the former dominating a bit. A BIT.) No matter what, messy room is not acceptable. No, I don't want to see it all over again. Wait! I would not be able to see you otherwise. I love Skype. Rant Over.

Backatcha!

  

Behaving My Age

It’s that time of the lifetime when you finally have to change skins to become a responsible human being while your inner soul still pretends to be a kindergarten brat; that time when speaking shit comes as easy as a storm in a desert and listening patiently seems a task next to impossible; the age when the conscience about one’s own stupidity does not show up and everything that you say sound pearls of wisdom to yourself; when doing household tasks seem the most crucial KRA of your maid and you helping her in the same implies deduction in her salary; when the fact that you earn and work in an MNC overpowers everything else left to do in the world, including cooking and when you look in the mirror and feel tad too proud of the way you look and wonder who on Earth would be able to match that nerve and fail to find one name, even close – YES, this age, this time, this phase – PRECISELY this is when THEY decide to get you married!

It’s like taming a mad ape – accepting that you are getting married and knowing that you get to be the female in this setup – the traditional one who behaves the way others program her to. The one advice, order, request or commandment that you hear from all the directions, while you happily behave the way you have been doing since ages, is “behave your age”. “Well, I’ve been all the same!” is all I can say in return. Suddenly, everything you do right from dressing to walking, from speaking to shutting up, from eating to picking your utensils up from the table, from getting up in the morning to pretty much, existing starts to appear faulty to those people who loved every bit of whatever nonsense you did before THIS time.

Now, I try to behave my age – in fact the one well ahead of it. It will, obviously, take me some time to shed the skin I have been comfortably living in since ages. But all that I have got to do is try to monitor how I behave, timing my smile, gauging the number of times I nod, looking at all random places while keeping mum in a room where the topic being discussed seems as stupid as the arguments being thrown to defend each other by the people involved, checking the usage of words like shit, crap, fuck, bitch, booh and trying to fit in a circle of “all grownups”.

Or, I have got an easier way out! I believe in order to get a valid visa to be able to step into the shoes of an “espoused”, all that you need to do is screw this gyaan up and team with your spouse up for a bigger mess. You never know, he might already be choking himself while acting a “grownup”. Behaving your “self” over your age is a nice idea for a cool, relaxed life. I bet behaving my age would never come easy to me, especially when I know I am good when I am “a lady” but I am much more a fun when I am “me”.